Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Part 3: Commas in Participial Phrases

Commas with Participial Phrases

Good writing is about more than grammar and punctuation.  It's about great characters, difficult decisions, high stakes, and insight into the human condition.  But...it's also about good grammar and punctuation.  Sometimes, important marks gets omitted, like the poor little comma in the illustration here.  Perhaps the omission is in the effort to make writing smoother.  Unfortunately, it often has the opposite effect.  Here's one type of common omission..   

When you have an independent clause (“Nathan stumbled along in front of the guard”), followed by a dependent clause starting with an "–ing" verb (“looking for ways to escape”), ask yourself whether you can stick who was/that was in the middle.  Does it still make sense? 

Example 1:

Test:  Nathan shuffled along in front of the guard WHO WAS looking for ways to escape.  Um…the guard was looking for ways to escape?  No, Nathan was looking for ways to escape.  You therefore need a comma in the middle to indicate that the subject of the first clause is also the one doing the second clause. 

Correct:  Nathan shuffled along in front of the guard, looking for ways to escape.

Incorrect:  Nathan shuffled along in front of the guard looking for ways to escape.

Example 2:  I sat on the sofa sagging in the corner.

Test:  I sat on the sofa THAT WAS sagging in the corner.  Makes sense.  No comma.

Example 3:  I sat on the sofa massaging my ankle.

Test:  I sat on the sofa THAT WAS massaging my ankle.  Cool sofa!  I want one.  But really, that’s not what you meant at all. The sofa wasn't massaging your ankle.  You were.  So you need the commas before the –ing.

Correct:  I sat on the sofa, massaging my ankle.

Example 4: “Come pick me up,” Sarah demanded through the phone looking in horror at the fire.

Test:  “Come pick me up,” Sarah demanded through the phone THAT WAS looking in horror at the fire.  Hmm…that's a really smart phone.

Correct:  “Come pick me up,” Sarah demanded through the phone, looking in horror at the fire.

Use the "THAT WAS" test: 

If you can stick that was in the middle and it still makes sense, no comma.

If you stick in that was and it changes the meaning, put a comma between the clauses.

Note:  It works in other situations too.  Other adjective or participial phrases modifying a subject earlier in the sentence have this same comma pattern.

Example 6:  She continued pushing dirt down around the seedlings oblivious to the threat at her front gate. 

Test:  Liz continued pushing dirt down around the seedlings WHO WERE oblivious to the threat at her front gate.  Technically, the plants were oblivious, but you probably mean that Liz was oblivious.

Correct:  Liz continued pushing dirt down around the seedlings, oblivious to the threat at her front gate.  

Often this mistake just requires that your reader pause a moment and re-evaluate, but sometimes it leads to mass confusion.  "John walked up to the man kissing the belly dancer."  Obviously the man was kissing the belly dancer.  If you meant that John was kissing the belly dancer, your readers aren't going to understand, so put in the comma.

NOTE:  If you're a person who doesn't use any commas unless absolutely necessary, you can sometimes omit this comma.  However, if there's any possibility that your reader will misunderstand, it's best to follow the rule and include it.   

Want more punctuation tips?  

Avoiding Incorrect Punctuation Pt 1:  Commas Save Lives; the Vocative Comma

Avoiding Incorrect Punctuation Pt 2:  Commas and Periods in Dialogue

Melinda Brasher writes mainstream short stories, science fiction, fantasy, and travel articles.  To find her work online, in print, or as e-books, explore her website:  melindabrasher.com

Blogging – The 5 Most Popular Blog Post and Article Formats

By Karen Cioffi

It’s a content marketing fact: Blogging is one of the most effective authority building, persuasive, and money-making marketing strategies.

This being the case, it means you need to regularly post content to your blog. It may be multiple times a day, once a day, three-times a week, once a week, or once a month.

No matter what, you need to post to your blog on a regular basis. While I did put ‘once a month’ in the list, to blog effectively you should be blogging more than that. Conservatively speaking, once a week is the minimum.

But, suppose you’re motivated and want to post to your blog three or more times a week. What do you write about? What blog formats can you use? How do you keep it up?

The 5 Most Popular Blog Post Formats

To make life easier, there are certain blog post formats or templates that you can use. Kind of like a fill in the blanks template. These templates will give you quick to follow guidelines and make the writing process quicker and easier. So, let’s get to it. Here are the five most popular blog post formats:

1. The How-to Blog Post

The how-to post is about providing instructions or steps to explain to the reader how to do something and people love them. The post should answer your readers’ question or provide the solution to his problem. In other words, as with all your posts, it should be informative and helpful.

The writing process is standard: address the target audience and note the problem (the introduction); give the solution (this is the body of your post), give the conclusion.

Aside from your post title, the introduction is where you will turn your readers’ attention to interest. This section will motivate the reader to read on.

2. The List-based Blog Post

The list-based format is simply providing a list of things. It may be “10 Steps to a Lighter You”. It may be “5 of the Most Important Opt-in Words There Are.” You get the idea. Choice your topic, create your title, and list the advice or tips.

This post format is another one that people love. It’s easy to read and easy to follow. And, if you scan the articles you read, like me, it’s easy to pick out the information pertinent to you.

When writing in the list-based format strive for organization, sequencing, clarity, and use bullet points or numbered sequencing. Make sure that each step flows into the next logically. You always want to keep it simple for the reader.

Tip: Bullet points should be used when the information within each point has little text. Numbered paragraphs should be used when the points have more text. This article is an example of the need for numbered paragraphs.

3. The Content Curation Blog Post

Before we get into the format, let’s go over what content curation is. In simple terms, it’s using someone else’s content on your site by linking to it. You lead into the source content with your own perspective and ideas. Then add text leading the reader to the original source. You might use: ‘To read more about this, go to . . .’ Or, you might use: To read the original article, go to . . .

The idea is to link to the source article through a ‘more reading’ setup.

The benefit to you is saving time. You don’t have to write a full post, yet you get fresh content that will be helpful to your readers. The fresh content and fresh viewpoint helps increase your authority and helps build you into the ‘go to person’ for your niche.

You do though need to make sure the content is relevant to your site and it’d be a good idea if you leave a comment on the original article’s post.

Another benefit to this blog format is trackbacking. Linking to the original source’s post will bring the attention of the source site to your site. 

4. The Newsjacking Blog Post

The newsjacking blog post format is about making use of headline news within your industry/niche. This type of post is usually timely. It’s very useful if you want to be the one to bring breaking news to your audience.

Another way to use newsjacking is to create an in-depth analysis of the breaking news or simply give your perspective, after the fact. Just be careful not to plagiarize the content. You can reference the news content, but be sure to make the post content your own

You can also use newsjacking with the curation format.

5. The Slideshare or Video Blog Post

This format takes advantage of visual (and audio) content, in place of all text.  This format helps break things up a bit. People love visuals. Adding videos or Slideshare presentations spices your blog up.

Along with adding variety, the visual posts allow you to actually demonstrate tricky topics. For example, when explaining how to use hyperlinks or deep links, it’s much easier for the reader to SEE how to do it, rather than read about it.

Just like the other formats, you do need an introduction explaining the problem and how you can help fix it. Then lead into the video or Slideshare presentation with something like: ‘Watch the video to see how it’s done.’ Or, use ‘Flip through the Slideshare I created to demonstrate just how to do it.’

Here’s an example of a Slideshare post:

Article Marketing – Optimize Your Blogger Blog Posts

Summing it All Up
Blogging is a must if you want to create and increase visibility, readership, leads, and sales. But, simply blogging isn’t enough, you need to know how to blog effectively. Using these five blogging formats will help you keep your blog posts fresh and keep your audience engaged and informed.

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Original article source: http://www.karencioffiwritingandmarketing.com/2014/03/blogging-5-most-popular-blog-post-and.html

Karen Cioffi is an Online Platform and Website Optimization Instructor. You can check out her services at: Build an Online Platform That Works

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I hope you found this information interesting and helpful. Too advanced, not enough, just right? I’d really love to know, so please leave a comment – good or bad.

P.S. If you liked this article, PLEASE SHARE IT!

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PPSS To get weekly visibility-generating writing and marketing tips, and more - right in your inbox: CLICK HERE!


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Pull Your Reader's Heart Strings

When your character is caught up in the heat of the moment you want the emotion that you evoke to be authentic. She finds out that her best friend took her lunch money without asking. The neighborhood bully is spreading lies about him behind his back at school. The day has finally
come for her to pick up her new puppy at the shelter.

Resources such as the series by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi can help: The Emotion Thesaurus, The Positive Trait Thesaurus and The Negative Trait Thesaurus. But unless the emotions come from deep inside you, the writer, true feelings that you have experienced, whether joyful or filled with pain, may not ring true when expressing your character's feelings.

Take a Leaf from an Actor's Playbook

To cry on demand, according to Wade Bradford, in "How to Cry: An Actor's Guide to Crying and Tears," http://plays.about.com/od/basics/ht/How-To-Cry-An-Actors-Guide-To-Crying-And-Tears.htm, an actor need only recreate into her own true emotions, by:

• Tapping into her memory: a sad experience that resulted in overwhelming grief or pain. Caveat: An actor must be in tune with her past.
• Choosing the right memory for the right moment.
• Finding ways to connect script lines with personal moments when a memory isn't enough. Some ways this can be accomplished is by thinking up upsetting events that didn't actually happen to the actor. What if someone talked her into going on a roller coaster ride on the highest, fastest roller coaster in the world, and she's afraid of heights? Her dog fell down a dry well and is lying on the bottom, hurt?

Where Writers Have It Over Actors

In the July 1, 2014 post, "4 Tips for Writing Great Scenes," by Ingrid Sundberg from her blog ingridsundberg, Sundberg describes the  importance of creating emotion in scenes. The first tip is to make sure your scene has dramatic action, " . . . the action the protagonist takes to resolve the problem he has suddenly been faced with." Sundberg quotes Robert Mckee in STORY: "Well plotted stories are built on stringing together the scenes that have dramatic action. These are the important moments within the character's life that move the plot forward." Tip two asks, "Is there a significant emotional change in the scene? A great way to tell if your scenes have dramatic action is to check and see if there's a significant emotional change;" i.e., having the character start the scene happy
and leaving it sad.

Here's where you express your own true emotions.Think of the main emotion expressed, jot it down and reflect on it. If need be, consult your personal feelings and a resource such as The Emotion Thesaurus. After writing the scene, the next day (after a rest) see if you've shown the utmost emotion so that your reader may experience and identify with what your character is going through.

Create a Personal Emotion List

To tap into your own authentic emotions, try keeping a notebook or computer file of your own poignant moments. Every time an experience happens to you or occurs to you, add it to your list. The seventy-five emotions listed in The Emotion Thesaurus can jumpstart your list, with such topics as envy, guilt, happiness, denial, and confusion. Here are a few of my personal emotions I've thought of so far.

Surprise: The Elephant Foot Story

Early one spring for Mother's Day my family wanted to get me a wild-bird-watching gift to enhance my love-of-birds hobby. They found a cement bird bath, not fancy, but an excellent addition to my growing collection of books, bird feeders, bird clock--you get the picture. The problem was, where to store it until the allotted day. Knowing me and that I would not notice, they contrived to hide the bird bath in plain sight. They turned the stem part upside down with the wide-mouthed tub stored next to it on the garage floor, right next to where I parked my car.

On Mother's Day morning I went outside and was completely surprised to find the birdbath set up in the garden filled to the brim with fresh water. When asked if I had noticed anything different in the garage on the days leading up to Mother's Day, I said, "You mean the elephant's foot?" For that is what my mind told me I saw all those days when getting in and out of my car. Needless to say, this story has become part of our family lore, which to this day I haven't been able to live down.

Scared/Afraid: An Unwanted Parking Lot Visit

On the day of my dental appointment I ran a quick errand at the grocery store and made it back to my car with minutes to spare. I had my hand on the door handle when a man walked up and asked if I would give him a ride to a location about twenty miles away. Instinct told me I had only seconds due to the sinister look on his face. He took a step toward me just as I pulled the door handle and jumped in, mumbling that I had to hurry to the dentist's office. I locked the door and sped away. A second longer and I may not have gotten away.

Sad: Rabbit in the Road

I debated whether to include a recent sad event that happened to me. Originally, I thought I'd include only fun personal stories. One of my daughters changed my mind. She told me that sad stories run deep and therefore are unforgettable. This sad event, as I tell it, still brings tears, which qualifies it for my Personal Emotion List. Just two weeks ago while stopped to pick up the morning paper, I saw two cottontail rabbits in the middle of the road. One lay flat and unmoving, the other very much alive, sitting with its chin resting on its parent/sibling/cousin's lifeless body. A movement from our car sent the live rabbit scampering into the underbrush. I rode tearfully away, with an intense twist in my heart, as if gripped by a fist. The experience planted itself immediately in my heart as one sad occurrence I will never forget.

If you're pressed for time: Perhaps all that is necessary is a simple index with notes jotted beside each emotion you want to elicit. Whatever method you use, the important thing is to endow your character with the truest emotion possible so your reader can laugh, cry, be annoyed, right along with the character in your story.

Photo courtesy of http://www.freevector.com/free-heart-graphic-vectors/

Linda Wilson, a former elementary teacher and ICL graduate, recently completed the online Fiction Course with www.joycesweeney.com, and is currently taking Joyce's Picture Book Essentials course. Linda has published over 40 articles for children and adults, six short stories for children, and is in the final editing stages of her first book, a mystery story for 7-9 year olds. Follow Linda on Facebook. 

Great Books 101 - Ancient to Medieval

Free!

I love that word when it comes to anything, but mostly when I can learn something new.

Hillsdale College is offering a free online course, Great Books 101 - Ancient to Medieval. If you need a refresher course or are unfamiliar with some or all of these classics, consider digging into some writing from our past.

Along with video and audio lectures by Hillsdale's professors, you will find the reading excerpt, a short quiz, and discussion opportunities with fellow students. After a final exam at the end of the course you will receive a certificate of completion.

The books offered are:


Homer, The Iliad

Homer, The Odyssey

Sophocles, Oedipus Rex

Virgil, The Aeneid

The David Story

The Book of Job

St Augustine, Confessions

Dante, Inferno

Chaucer, Canterbury Tales

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

Our minds are like sponges and sometimes they get a bit dried up. When we find the time to keep learning, our minds are refreshed. Who knows where it will take us? A word, a thought, or perspective will expand our knowledge base and creativity. As I have been reading these classics, I have had fresh ideas for my own writing.

 Photo credit: Jemimus / Foter / Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)

I hope you take time to get a little learning in this year and reap the benefits!

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  After raising and homeschooling her 8 children and teaching art classes for 10 years, Kathy has found time to pursue freelance writing. She enjoys writing magazine articles and more recently had her story, "One of a Kind", published in The Kids' Ark. You can find her passion to bring encouragement and hope to people of all ages at When It Hurts - http://kathleenmoulton.com

Writing Time

Too Little Time?

Sunset, Italy 

How much time do you spend writing per day? I know many of us are not able to settle down for five days a week as professional writers. We juggle home/family commitments, other jobs.

But take a second or two once in a while to review your precious writing time and consider how much of it is truly spent in the white heat of creation.

I spend far too long writing articles. I excuse this by saying I need thinking  time.

But if I'm honest, that should be happening while I make the beds or wash the dishes. How long does it take to jot down a few bullet points or dictate a memo when you have an idea on the move?

With an outline and a few headings, the article or blog post is as good as written.

Or Too Much?

Too much time can be as much of a drawback as too little. Many authors think that having more time to write will mean they write twice as much.

In fact, this is rarely the case. The secret is not time but focus. And my focus is demonstrably sharper when deadlines loom and time is of the essence.

Set a timer, how much can you write in ten minutes? Work with happy music and a driving beat--how fast do you write?
Do you write at your fastest every day?

And if you do, please tell me how you do it.

For an in-depth look at the importance of focus, see this article by Karen Cioffi-Ventrice on productivity strategies.

 Anne Duguid is a freelance content editor with MuseItUp Publishing and she passes on helpful writing,editing and publishing tips from time to time at Slow and Steady Writers 

Planning a Writing Retreat

I have written about writing retreats here in the past. Last month, I was on vacation and made that into sort of a writing retreat, but since I can’t do that again for awhile, I started thinking about other things I could do instead. And then it came to me: a one day writing retreat for my local writers group. I suggested the idea to them and was asked to start planning something.

For this first time out (maybe it could become an annual event), we are going to stay in town to keep costs low. I picked a part of town where there are restaurants, outdoor seating areas, a walking trail, public library, hotel and a university. Plenty of places to use for a day-long or half-day writing retreat.

The first thing I did was to make a list of things that might be important to a group of writers. This list by no means is complete. There may be other things that are important to you or to your group. You may use my list and add to it. Perhaps brainstorm with some other writers.

• Goals – What do you want to get from the retreat? Write a chapter of your novel? Complete a book? Start a book? Write an article? Try out some new writing prompts.
• Location – Do you want to stay local or go out of town? If spending at least one night away from home, where might the group want to stay? Hotel, bed and breakfast, cabin by a lake?
• Length – Will it be for one day, a weekend, a week or longer? What about a particular day, week or month?
• Writing time – How long do you want to write? Maybe the entire retreat, half of it, a few hours a day? Are there other things you would like to do besides writing during the retreat?
• Work area – Will you be sharing your work area or will you be working alone? Indoors, outdoors, table, bench, library, café. Are there a number of cafes on the street or neighborhood where you plan to go? Try café-hopping while you write.
• Social activities – What other activities and sites are available? Walking trails, shopping, museums, theaters or spas might be nearby. Get some exercise, do something besides writing, relax, have fun.
• Meals – Will you eat together as a group or separately? Share the cooking, dine at restaurants, pack a picnic lunch, have some snacks. And don’t forget beverages, including wine.
• Writing kit – What do you need to bring with you to help you write and to provide inspiration? A tote bag filled with items such as notebooks and pens, laptop, books, magazines, photos/art, music, etc.
• Conversation – What will the group talk about? Bring a book on the craft of writing to discuss, an experience you want to share, suggestions on how to overcome writers block.
• Online or offline – Will you forgo email and social media? It might be ok to do some research for the book or article you are working on, but for most of the retreat, try to stay away from the internet.
• Types of clothing - What kinds of clothing do you want to wear/pack? If you wear a literary or writing t-shirt when writing, would that make you work harder? Perhaps it’s a shirt you got at a writing conference, ordered from NaNoWriMo or purchased from another source. You might get some compliments and comments on it when you are out and about!

I have a kit which I will use during the planning and at the retreat. The Writer’s Retreat Kit: A Guide for Creative Exploration & Personal Expression by Judy Reeves is a boxed set of cards and a book. This set covers the planning of retreats and includes lists of writing prompts. It’s full of ideas that writers will find useful, whether the retreat is far away or at home. http://judyreeveswriter.com/writers-retreat-kit/.

What would you like to do on a writing retreat? Have you been on a retreat? If so, what did you do? Feel free to share your ideas and experiences here.

Debbie A. Byrne has a B.S. in Mass Communication with a minor in History. She is a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI) and is working on her first children’s book.

Taking a Break from Writing: Finding Inspiration in a Summer Writing Hiatus

My critique group usually takes a break during the summer.  With all the summer activities, it’s hard to find a time that fits our summer schedules, and even harder to find time to write.  I usually try and keep writing during this break, but not this summer.  

This summer I’m giving myself a “hall pass” to escape from my writing room.  I normally schedule my weekly writing time on my calendar.  It almost always includes Saturday mornings and a few other sessions during the week.  For July and August, I’ve decided not to pre-schedule my time and not worry if I don’t write. 

Instead of writing, I’m travelling and getting out into nature.  I’m working on those house projects I never seem to get done.  I’m visiting the local museums and catching up with friends and family.

AND… I’m looking around for inspiration.  I use my phone to keep notes on writing/subject ideas.  For me, summer is a fertile time to germinate ideas for future projects.  Three of my projects this year, were ideas from last summer.  By September, I hope to be re-energized and ready to sequester myself with my computer. 

If you’re struggling to write this summer, consider taking a hiatus from writing for a few weeks.  It might just be the antidote for a stalled writing project.

Mary Jo Guglielmo is writer and intuitive life coach. For more information check out:

http://theadvantagepoint.wordpress.com

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http://facebook.com/DoNorth.biz