"Remember: Plot is no more than footprints left in the snow after your characters have run by on their way to incredible destinations." Ray Bradbury, WD |
As Kimberley described DPOV, it is capturing your main
character from the inside out. What she “knows, sees, hears, feels,
experiences—filtered through her world. DPOV creates an immersive reading
experience. In DPOV we see more of who the character is.” Add to that a
writer’s greatest prize: DPOV is how you gain THE VOICE.
Boot out the Narrator
I received one of the first drafts of my first book back so
fast from a beta reader it wasn’t funny. There were few notes, few edits. But
in huge letters on the first page she wrote: "GET RID OF THE NARRATOR! Then send
it back to me."
Oh my, was I in a world of rewrite! I think all authors
would agree that finding that voice, showing and not telling the story, nixing
the narrator, takes practice and experience. Also, I’ve talked to writers who
agree that even in later stages of revision, "telling" and "the narrator" crop up
and have to be banned. It has certainly happened to me. Examples offered at the
workshop:
Narrator: She wished she could whisk back in time and redo
the last few minutes.
Without the Narrator: Too bad life didn’t come with an undo
button.
Narrator: He had to think hard about what to do next.
Without: What should he do next?
DPOV in Action
According to Kimberley: Become your character. Live inside
your character’s mind and heart. Immerse yourself by staying in your
character’s point of view. Take your reader on a journey through your
character’s experiences. Want to see how? Here goes:
Shallow: Desiree’s skin prickled with pleasant excitement.
Deep: Shadows loomed. The place reeked of ancient secrets.
Desiree’s skin prickled.
Shallow: He could see the tip of the dog’s nose peeking out
of the closet.
Deep: Barry stepped through the door and entered the room.
“Aha! There you are!” The tip of the dog’s nose peeked out of the closet.
DPOV is not italicized. According to Kimberley, italicizing
thoughts takes the reader out of DPOV.
With italics: Jane looked out the window. Wow! Look at that
sunshine and dew sparkling on the roses. What a perfect day for gardening. I’d
better go get my tools.
She went to the garage and scanned her shelves. Now where
did I put my gloves and trowel?
Without: Jane looked out the window. The dew on the roses sparkled in the morning sunlight. Wow!
Would there ever be a better day for gardening?
Humming, she hurried into the garage. Her gaze searched the
wooden shelves. Where had she stored her gloves and trowel?
Avoid “Pitfall Words”
Do a search in your manuscript and look for “pitfall words:” Think, Know, Feel,
Realized, Caused, Made. Focus instead on the senses and play-by-play action in the
NOW: Touch, Taste, Smell, Sight, Sound, Emotions.
Word No-No’s that create narrative distance:
- Saw, considered, made, caused
- She felt: watched, thought, realized, wished, decided, wondered
- Avoid prepositional tells: with, of, in
- Beware the IT Trap. It’s vague—(What's vague? The It Trap! There, that's better!) What does IT mean? Namely, that substituting "it" instead of specific nouns and descriptions isn't nearly as dynamic.
- Choose power words
- Overuse of “to be” verbs
- Don’t summarize: Write the scene
- Share from the inside out rather than a “watcher’s” perspective
- Research physiological reactions
- Write moment-to-moment
- Break up long description with an action; break up internal dialogue with action
- Don’t name the feeling—Show the feeling by physical effects on the body, thoughts in keeping with that particular emotion: ASK HOW YOUR CHARACTER WOULD REACT
- Everything can’t be written in DPOV. Your reader sometimes needs distance to relax, such as your character reflecting and telling friends.
To learn more about Kimberley, visit: www.kimberleygriffithslittle.com
Image courtesy of: https://www.goodfreephotos.com
Image courtesy of: https://www.goodfreephotos.com
It all started here! |
Linda
Wilson, a former elementary teacher and ICL graduate, has published
over 100 articles for adults and children, and six short stories for
children. Her first book, a mystery/ghost story for children 7-11
years old, will be published in September 2018. Currently, she is hard at
work on Book Two in the series. Follow Linda at www.lindawilsonauthor.com.