Trust your Readers--Part 3

Over-explanation is at the heart of non-subtle writing.  It takes many forms, such as showing and THEN telling (see part 1) and beating your readers over the head with big themes (part 2).

Another issue is leading your readers step by step through obvious realizations or mundane actions, as if they can't imagine these for themselves.  Life is full of boring tasks.  Don't make your readers suffer though them.  Read on for examples. 

Problem #3:  Spelling E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G Out

She pulled on her socks, one by one, tugging them over her heels.  Then she slid her right foot into her right shoe, took the laces in both hands, went right over left, made two loops, and pulled them tight.  She moved on to the next shoe. 

This shows all right, but it's boring, and doesn't advance the plot. 

If your character is so deep in depression that putting on her shoes is a major victory, go ahead and show it.  If she's headed out to face a firing squad and is trying to delay, the scene could work.  Otherwise, give your reader credit for knowing how to put shoes on. 

Another example:

He turned right on State Street, then left on Haley, continuing on for nearly a mile.  At the stoplight at the intersection of Haley and Grimes, he turned left again.  Finally he reached the post office.

Unless you pepper this with atmospheric descriptions (He passed the abandoned Woolworths where John Haley had fought his last battle against corporate America) or add some sort of drama, consider going straight to the post office scene   As Elmore Leonard says, " Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip."  Of course, if your character's specific route makes him miss the scene of the accident where he might have been able to save his wife, keep some of it in, but try to add interest and/or foreshadowing.

He hesitated for a moment at the stop sign.  First street or Haley?  If he took Haley, he might catch a glimpse of the new blond waitress at the diner.  What could it hurt?  His wife would never know. 

One more example:

Susie added two plus two on her paper.  Four!

Only if she gets five or twenty-two or the last number in the nuclear detonation sequence do you really need to include the answer.  

This pace-killing tendency of repetition and careful explanation may come from the high school thesis-body-conclusion rule:  "tell readers what you're going to say, say it, then tell them what you said." This works for a five paragraph essay, but it doesn't work for fiction.

Solution to Spelling E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G Out

Practice looking for this pattern in other people's work.  You'll find it.  As with any writing rule, nothing is ever wrong in all situations, and sometimes step by step descriptions and explanations work well.  Analyze the books you like, trying to pinpoint when it works and when it could be trimmed.  Soon it will become easier to see and evaluate in your own work.

Then, get ruthless.  Cut out excess explanation.  And trust your readers to fill in the blanks.

For more:

Problem #1:  Showing and then telling

Problem#2:  Beating your readers over the headwith big themes

Melinda Brasher is the author of Far-Knowing, a YA fantasy novel, and Leaving Home, a collection of short stories, travel essays, and flash fiction.  Her short fiction appears in THEMA Literary Journal, Enchanted Conversation, Ellipsis Literature and Art, and others. Visit her blog for all the latest:  whttp://www.melindabrasher.com

Trust your Readers--Part 2

Subtlety is important in good writing, and requires you to trust your readers to catch on to things.  In the first part of this series, we saw examples of problem #1:  showing and then telling.  Now we'll look at a bigger-picture problem.

Problem #2:  Beating Your Reader Over the Head with Big Themes

When you write, you need to make sure your readers understand—and remember—major elements in your story:  plot points, secondary characters, your hero's strengths and weaknesses, motivations, and what's at stake.  You will probably also be weaving in overall themes, questions, or messages.   

As with anything important, the temptation is to overemphasize these elements.  The result?  Beating your readers over the head. 

One common area this occurs is with character traits.  If, for example, you character is afraid of getting emotionally involved with other people, establish it well when you first reveal it, preferably through showing instead of telling, then give your readers credit for remembering.  Reinforce it with your character's actions now and then, as natural to the plot, but if you keep hammering it in, especially in narration, your reader will get annoyed.

Overall themes and messages can drown in repetition too.  If your character is a sickly, selfish, unhappy thing, and through the course of the book she starts helping and thus caring about other people, and slowly becomes healthier and happier, your reader will understand the connection.  You can reinforce it through specific things she does for others, and how she feels afterwards, but refrain from statements like "the selfish, unhappy, sickly woman had discovered that helping other people made her happy.  Her health had returned and her life had meaning."  Not only does this bang a frying pan on your reader's head; it ventures into the realm of preachiness.

If your aim is to influence readers, preaching is one of the least effective way to do so.  Nobody likes a lecture, but people do like good stories where characters make positive changes in their lives or suffer through mistakes that the readers might do well to avoid.  When readers sympathize with characters different from themselves, or learn about situations they knew nothing about, perspectives can change.  All this will only have a real effect, however, if the reader is left alone to make the connections.

There's often a fine line between overexplanation and underexplanation.  In trying to be subtle and cut out repetition, you can stray into underexplanation, something just as deadly.  You, as the writer, might not be the best judge of how much reminding is enough, since you know your ideas and characters so well.  This is where beta readers and critiquers come in so handy.

Solution to Beating your Reader Over the Head

Find several people who can read your entire manuscript carefully and give constructive feedback.  This may be a local critique group, fellow writers or avid readers you met online, or friends and family who will be honest yet kind and whose critiques won't ruin your relationship.  Ask them specifically to look for areas of repetition, and make careful note of them.

Add to their lists any other story elements you believe you may have hit home too hard.  Then sit down and read the whole book, cover to cover, within a few days.   Mark the page numbers where you touch on these ideas.  Then go back and trim, trim, trim.  

After you're all done, find a few people who have never read you book.  If it still makes sense to them, and communicates what you want it to, you've done your job well.    

Subtlety takes work, but it's vital for good writing.  As the famous saying goes, "If I'd had more time, I would have written a shorter letter."  Take the time to write that shorter, tighter, more subtle story, and you'll be rewarded. 

Next time: 

Problem #3:  SpellingE-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G out. 

Last time: 

Problem #1:  Showing and then telling

Melinda Brasher writes in many genres.  This month's issue of Spark Anthology (Volume IV) will include one of her science fiction short stories, about an ill-fated colonization project.  To get a 35% discount, use the code BRASHER-FRIENDS.  Offer expires January 31.  She is also the author of Far-Knowing, a YA fantasy novel, and Leaving Home, a collection of short stories, travel essays, and flash fiction.  Visit her blog for all the latest:  http://www.melindabrasher.com