Writers On The Move: short sentences

Monotony is a writer's enemy. One great way to provide variety for your reader is through some techniques that can change up sentence structure.

1. End with a punch. Sometimes we have a great sentence, but we begin with what could be a powerful ending. Switch it around and see if you add a surprise that your reader will appreciate.

2. Use an occasional short sentence for emphasis. Too many short sentences, just like too many long sentences can turn your readers off, but using a short sentence every once in a while can draw your reader's attention.

3. Use parallels. Often we work to make sure that our word choices vary, but sometimes using parallel ideas can create a more powerful sentence.

Other ideas:

1. Invert sentences. Consistently following the norm: subject, verb, then object structure can become boring for readers. Inverting doesn't always sound natural, so be sure to read it out loud, but when it works it creates exactly what may keep your reader interested.

2. Vary sentences. Long and short, simple and compound. Mix it up for your reader.

3. Watch what you begin with. Often habits form and sentences begin to sound repetitive. Also look at the beginnings of paragraphs for the same monotony.

Mixing things up and spending time reworking your sentences is all part of the editing process that can make your work stand out.

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D. Jean Quarles is a writer of Women's Fiction and a co-author of a Young Adult Science Fiction Series. Her latest book, House of Glass, Book 2 of The Exodus Series was written with coauthor, Austine Etcheverry.

D. Jean loves to tell stories of personal growth – where success has nothing to do with money or fame, but of living life to the fullest. She is also the author of the novels: Rocky's Mountains, Fire in the Hole, and Perception. The Mermaid, an award winning short story was published in the anthology, Tales from a Sweltering City.

She is a wife, mother, grandmother and business coach. In her free time . . . ha! ha! ha! Anyway, you can find more about D. Jean Quarles, her writing and her books at her website at www.djeanquarles.com

You can also follower her at www.djeanquarles.blogspot.com or on Facebook.

All writers want to look like experienced, sophisticated writers. We all rush to get that first draft down on paper, but then comes the time to self-edit and rewrite our manuscripts. There lies your opportunity to slow down, have another cup of coffee, and spruce up that first draft.

The following points are things you might want to avoid because they make you appear like an amateur or a weak writer:

1. Avoid the use of -ing and as constructions. They can sometimes make two

actions seem simultaneous when they are physically impossible.

Example: Rushing into the house, I put on a fresh blouse and skirt.

Should be written: I rushed into the house and put on a fresh blouse

and skirt.

Example: As I put the kettle on the stove, I turned to face him.

Should be written: I put the kettle on the stove and turned to face him.

If you just have to use that -ing phrase, try putting it in the middle of the sentence.

Then it is less conspicuous.

2. Avoid the use of clichés. I do not even have to explain this one. There is nothing,

in my opinion, that will make you look more like a weak or amateur writer

than this.

3. And then there is the adverb, the -ly word. This, I have to admit, is one of my

biggest downfalls. I love them, so I struggle with myself to get rid of them.

Now do not get me wrong. An occasional one can be forgiven. When you use

a weak verb and an adverb, you are using two weak words in place of one strong

one.

Example: Angrily she shut the door behind her.

Should be written: She slammed the door behind her.

Now there can be an exception to the rule for the sake of affect.

Example: She kissed him--slowly, longingly.

4. Avoid a lot of short sentences. Try stringing some of them together with a

comma. Just do not overdo it.

Example: “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

Should be written: “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it.”

5. Using a lot of italics and exclamation marks should be used only to convey

your character is shouting. Otherwise, the writer appears very insecure. Just

let the dialogue and description convey all the emotion needed.

6. Another stylistic device that can make a writer come across as an amateur is

flowery, poetic figures of speech or metaphors.

7. Are your sex scenes too explicit? You may want to leave a certain amount

of details left to your readers’ imagination. They do quite well with this, you

know. No heavy breathing, please.

8. Profanity has been so over used that it no longer has any shock value and

can turn your reader off. Now if it is a characteristic of your character, then

by all means use it. Otherwise, it is simply a sign of a small vocabulary.

Faye M. Tollison

Author of: To Tell the Truth

Upcoming books: The Bible Murders

Sarah’s Secret

Member of: Sisters in Crime

Writers on the Move

Writers On The Move

Creating Variety in Sentence Structure

You're an Amateur Writer If

Beginning Writers Do Get Published

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