Writers On The Move: editing fiction

Showing posts with label editing fiction. Show all posts

Discover Pitch Wars by YA author Brenda Drake


"Alone we can do so little; together, we can do so much." Helen Keller

Our chapter of the Society of Book Writers and Illustrators had the honor of welcoming New York Times bestselling YA author Brenda Drake for our August ShopTalk meeting. Brenda is the founder of Pitch Wars, Pitch Madness, and #PitMad. In 2012 the idea came to her while watching an episode of "Cupcake Wars" on TV. On the Pitch Wars’ website, Brenda writes, “["Cupcake Wars" is] a show where bakers have an assistant help them prepare the best cupcakes possible for a round of judges. While watching all the yummy creations come together, I thought it would be great to have a publishing contest where agented/published authors, those who are a few steps ahead, could mentor authors’ full manuscripts and guide them through the publishing trenches.” But even before the "Cupcake Wars," Brenda started her first contest in 2010, described on the website as “Pitch Wars . . . a legacy,” which developed into the contest called “Pitch Madness.”

Today, Pitch Wars is a mentoring program for Middle Grade, Young Adults, New Adult or Adult manuscripts, described on the website:“where published/agented authors, editors, or industry interns choose one writer each, read their entire manuscript, and offer suggestions on how to make the manuscript shine for an agent showcase. Pitch Wars is open to completed and polished full-length fiction manuscripts only. The mentor also helps edit their mentee’s pitch for the contest and their query letter for submitting to agents.”

Pitch Wars has developed into a community of authors, editors, agents and more who come together to help each other by offering advice, with the eventual goal of publication. One of the authors in our SCBWI chapter found her critique partners in the community. After participating in the mentorship program, the idea for her second book came to her fast. And she says, the information you learn will stay with you.

How Can You Participate?
•    Do your research. Study the Pitch Wars website. Begin on the page, “New? Start Here.” This page offers step-by-step instructions on how to get involved, how to find a mentor, to prepare your submission, submit and join social media. Also, the page provides the Pitch Wars schedule.
•    Click on “About #PitMad,” which is a pitch party on Twitter where writers tweet a 280-character pitch for their completed polished and unpublished manuscripts. All genres are welcomed. Agents and editors make requests by liking/favoriting the tweeted pitch. Every unagented writer is welcome to pitch. All genres/categories are welcomed. #PitMad occurs quarterly and upcoming dates are posted.
•    Go to the Pitch Wars Blog to learn more about the Pitch Madness contests.

Take a few moments and visit Brenda’s website, https://brendadrake.com, take the “Library Jumpers Mystik World Tour,” and check out her other books in a second series, “The Fated;” and her latest standalone book, dubbed “a fast-paced romantic adventure” by Kirkus Review, “Analiese Rising.” One peek at Amazon Reviewers for Thief of Lies, the first book in the Library Jumpers series tells it all: “This has to be one of my all-time favorite fantasy books!” and “Conceptually, this book (series) is brilliant.”

Image courtesy of: https://www.freepick.com

Linda Wilson, a former elementary teacher and ICL graduate, has published over 150 articles for adults and children, and several short stories for children. She has recently become editor of the New Mexico SCBWI chapter newsletter and is working on several projects for children. Follow Linda on Facebook.

Two Ways to Format your Manuscript

Properly formatting my MG mystery book loomed in the background during editing. The reckoning day arrived. Thanks to children's author Margot Finke I knew who to call upon: the formatting service at Golden Box Books Publishing Services. Margot sang the praises of Golden Box author Erika M. Szabo, who did the formatting for her young teen fantasy, Daisy and Bartholomew Q. She said, "I couldn't be happier with the results. [Erika] also educated me in the ways of correct formatting." Among Erika's many talents: a multi-genre author, Publishing Coach and illustrator.

I fully intended to contact Erika to help me with my formatting needs but decided to Google the subject: "How to format a fiction book," to see what would happen. I clicked on a tutorial by Jill Williamson, an author for adults, teens, kids, and some for the whole family, which she uploaded onto YouTube. I decided to try it.

By splitting my screen with Jill's tutorial and my ms, I went through the steps she explained by pausing, executing, pausing. It took several views to fully understand how to do it all. The biggest
glitch was doing the page numbering right, which Jill warned is tricky. At the end of the video, she invited viewers to visit her website for a more in-depth description. I found the information under, "for writers: jill's writing and publishing tutorials," and after some trial and error, solved the problem. I am proud of how my ms looks now and feel confident it is correct.

It's been an inspiration to discover both of these terrific authors and their websites, chock full of helpful information for writers.

Golden Box Books offers help in every aspect of self-publishing. Check it out!
Check out Jill Williamson's video, "How to Format a Fiction Manuscript," on YouTube, and Jill's website. You'll be glad you did.

I will call on both of these resources again. The information offered is far-reaching and relevant in today's market. You will find many areas of expertise. My challenge to you? Go for it!
Illustration: https://openclipart.org/detail/121249/puzzle

Linda Wilson, a former elementary teacher and ICL graduate, has published over 100 articles for adults and children, and six short stories for children. Recently, she completed Joyce Sweeney's online fiction courses, picture book course and mystery and suspense course. She has currently finished her first book, a mystery/ghost story for 7-11 year-olds, and is in the process of publishing it and moving on to new writing projects. Follow Linda on Facebook.

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 7: Apostrophes

Sometimes people underrate the importance of punctuation. If your work is full of errors, you risk not only confusing and/or annoying your readers, but you also risk losing credibility. Punctuation errors are bad enough in a novel or a short story, but if you're writing non-fiction, your readers may think, “Hmm...if this guy can't put apostrophes in the right place, can I really trust his expertise in the subject matter?” This is something you do not want your readers to think.

Recently I read an independently published non-fiction book plagued with so many apostrophe errors that the author unwittingly inspired today's post. Here are the main types of errors he made, over and over again:

1) Wrong: His mothers fears

Right: His mother's fears

If you're showing possession, you need that apostrophe. Otherwise is looks like a plural. This would be doubly confusing if it were “His mothers fear” because that reads like he has two mothers and they both fear something. It's not until the next word that the reader is jarred into the intended meaning: “His mothers fear was made reality.” Oh...his mother (or mothers, we're still not sure because it's not punctuated correctly) had a fear and it came true.

2) Wrong: Humanities primal urges. Also would be wrong: Humanitie's primal urges.

Right: Humanity's primal urges

When a word ends in y, and you want to make it PLURAL, you change the y to i and add es. But when you want to make it POSSESSIVE, you do not change the y. Just add apostrophe s. The city's streets are clean. Not many cities are so clean.

3) Wrong: A process which Heracles labours are forcing him to undergo.

Right: Heracles' labours... OR Heracles's labours

The correct way to punctuate names and singular nouns that end in s is debatable, and depends on which style guide you use, though nowadays most lean toward adding the apostrophe s instead of just the apostrophe. Charles's camera. The bus's back tires. But of course, if the noun is plural, you just add the apostrophe. The girls' playhouse (there are at least two girls).

4) Wrong: The sea's were troubled.

Right: The seas were troubled.

It's a plural noun. The apostrophe has no place here. Exceptions may be made (depending on which style guide you follow) for acronyms, years, and other strange cases. Some people write CD's, DVD's, etc. when they mean multiple CDs or DVDs. They write the 1980's when referring to the decade, instead of the 1980s. I personally think this is imprecise and potentially confusing, but it's common and often considered acceptable. You should use an apostrophe in plurals of some one-letter words that would be confused with other words if you didn't add the apostrophe. So, for example, you can write “I replaced all the a's with i's in my secret message.” These a's and i's are plural, not possessive, and would generally not use apostrophes, but if you don't add the apostrophe, you get this: “I replaced all the as with is in the secret message.”

5) Wrong: Helios see's all things.

Right: Helios sees all things.

Never put an apostrophe s in a verb UNLESS you're making a contraction with is or has (he's tired, she's singing, Mary's awake, the cat's never caught a bird before, the world's been going downhill..) Otherwise, just don't do it. Please. A regular s is sufficient. Helios sees. Helios hears. Helios knows.

6) Wrong: It's muscles flexed.

Right: Its muscles flexed.

This is a very, very, very common error. It's is a contraction of it and is (It's hot in here). Its is the possessive of it (This book is complicated. Its appendix of characters is twenty-seven pages long.). I think most of us know this, but it's easy to make the error in haste or with bad typing and then not catch it later because we know what it's supposed to say, so our brain skips over the error. If you're worried about it, there's a long, boring solution: use the find feature on your word processor to hunt down every example of both it's and its in your manuscript and make sure they're all right. While you're at it, check you're and your.

A few other things to remember:

“My parents' house is old” means that the house belongs to both your parents.

“My parent's house is old “ means that the house belongs to one of your parents (and for some reason you call this person your parent instead of your mom or dad.)

Let's is not the same as lets

Let's go swimming this afternoon. Mom never lets me go swimming.

Who's is not the same as whose

Who's going to cook tonight? Whose carrots are these?

They're is not the same as their

They're going to cook tonight? But their carrots are old.

You're is not the same as your

You're invited. Your invitation got lost in the mail.

We're is not the same as were and he's is not the same as his. Yes, these last ones should be obvious, but I've seen the mistakes in work people felt ready to publish.

The problem with these types of errors is that spell checker will never find them. Your grammar checker won't help a lot either. You have a sacred duty to your readers to find somebody (yes, an actual person, and preferably several of them) that will be able to hunt down and correct errors like this after you do your best to correct them yourself.

Happy hunting.

For more punctuation help, see my other posts:

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 1: Commas Save Lives; the Vocative Comma

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 2: Commas and Periods in Dialogue
Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 3: Commas with Participial Phrases

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 4: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Question Mark

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 5: Adjectives with Commas
Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 6: Hyphens in Compound Adjectives

One Last Edit: Re-think before Submitting

Can you look through your completed book without making any changes? I tried it after thinking I had finished up the basic editing and even the polishing. There couldn't possibly be anything more to "fix," thought me. Wrong. I found more changes, important changes, many changes. Throwing caution to the wind, I gave up all notions of completion and continued, alternating between rummaging through additional passes as the need occurred to me with my pinpoint-sharpened #2, and then laying my book down to rest for short periods of time. My conclusion? The persistent question: When will I ever be done?

What do I need to re-think?

While in the throes of this quest I decided, what the heck, what's one more pass? I came up with: What do I need to re-think? It turned out to be the most revealing edit of all. It resulted in a title change, removal of a subplot (that was BIG, but I had to do it), addition of a character (that was fun), rearranging some of the scenes and re-checking the arcs, making sure someone or something didn't fall off the face of the page. Each character arc, including arcs in each character's dialogue, and each event, had to be followed from beginning to end. If I hadn't done that particular check, pearls of the necklace I had begun to string would have fallen off before the clasp could have been attached. Nightmares could have resulted. I could have wound up with another fire-engine red I, another school daze Incomplete, only this time from an editor and not my teacher (if I should be so lucky!)

Take One More Look

Go back to the theme card you prepared before or during the writing. Make sure the main theme shines through and ask yourself, Do the minor themes bolster the main theme?
Check the structure one more time. Is it solid?
Does each character have an arc? Each story part introduced have follow-through to the end? Follow each one all the way through to make sure.
Is your main character's flaw/need evident in the beginning and satisfied/solved from what she's learned by the end?
Have you done a scene check to make sure there isn't any section that might work better elsewhere?
Is there any character or scene that doesn't move the story forward?
Is there anything to add to strengthen any part, or any weak part to delete which will strengthen the story?
Is description kept at a minimum (in a children's story)? Is the story told through dialogue and action?
If it is a mystery, make a list of the clues, red herrings and reveal to make sure everything is covered.
Do one last fact check.

If you grow weary of so many revisions, give your story a rest and come back to it later. One of my writing instructors once told me, you don't write a book, you re-write a book. When at first I thought I was done, I had to disengage from disappointment when finding so many glaring errors. This must be the armor people talk about that writers must grow and wear, and perhaps why people admire authors so much. For the fortitude and single-mindedness it takes to do the seat-time, on and on, until we are finally satisfied with the finished product, whatever it takes. Being sure of your work is a must if a writer wants to produce a sparkling, page-turning, humdinger of a book!

writing projects. Follow Linda on Facebook.

Image: http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/

Tropes in Literature #2: This is My Story

Tropes can be our enemies or our friends. These literary devices, characters types, and plot elements are so common and popular that they often seem clichéd. As I said in my first post on the topic (Mr. Exposition and Captain Obvious), I don't believe that you should never use tropes. They're popular for a reason. But I think it's important to be aware of them so that you can choose carefully which ones to use, which to avoid—and which to subvert.

This is My Story

Tvtropes.org brilliantly collects, links, and names many TV and literature tropes, and this is one of their best descriptions, cleverly using the trope itself: This is My Story. I highly recommend reading it yourself,

The trope involves opening your story with something like this: "My name is John Smith. My story is important because blah blah blah." Or, "You won't believe this story, but it's mine, and it's true." Or, "Everything you've heard about me is wrong, so I'm going to tell you this story to set the record straight." Or, "This is the blah-blahest story you'll ever hear." Or, "My name is blah blah and I'm famous for blah blah."

Sometimes this really works, like in The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold: "My name is Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973." The brilliant thing here is the shock value. It's not what you're expecting from a This is My Story opening. Most of the time, however, I think it's weak. I want you to show me that your story's interesting or important or unbelievable. Don't tell me.

People rave about The Name of the Wind, by Patrick Rothfuss. I honestly couldn't get into it, but that might have been my state of mind at the time. It starts, "My name is Kvothe. I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in." Massively creative. A taste of intriguing world building. But then it goes on. "I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day." And on. "I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep." When reading, all I could think was, "Great, another wordy braggart who just won't shut up about himself. That's all I need in my life." But it obviously worked for a lot of people.

Here's how Mark Twain started Huckleberry Finn: "You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter." A variation on the theme, with a little added product placement. Other classics start similarly, as if writing a boilerplate introduction paragraph to a five paragraph essay: Robinson Crusoe, Great Expectations, various others. I've also seen Asimov and Heinlein do it in third person.

The Good Soldier by Ford Madox Ford begins, "This is the saddest story I've ever heard." To me, that's like writing a query letter to an agent and saying, "This is the best book you'll ever read." Automatic reject. But again, it obviously worked for some people.

This one's cool, but chiefly because it plays with the trope—and intrigues the reader: "In a sense, I am Jacob Horner." John Barth, The End of the Road. So, in a sense you're not? Makes me want to read.

I challenge you, as a writer, to never start a book this way unless you can give it a clever twist.

Melinda Brasher currently teaches English as a second language in the beautiful Czech Republic. She loves the sound of glaciers calving and the smell of old books. Her travel articles and short fiction appear in Go Nomad, International Living, Electric Spec, Intergalactic Medicine Show, and others. For an e-book collection of some of her favorite published pieces, check out Leaving Home. For something a little more medieval, read her YA fantasy novel, Far-Knowing. Visit her online at http://www.melindabrasher.com.

The Value of a Good Editor

There is an Appropriate Hat for every Story
Photo by Linda Wilson

One of my writing pet peaves is that authors often get credit that their partnership with their editor(s) is due. Perhaps, if you wade through the "Acknowledgements," you might appreciate the number of people it takes for the author to arrive at the finished/polished product. I confess, I read the
"Acknowledgements," but really, how many readers can be relied on to do that?

Preaching to the choir a bit here, but, we writers know how valuable an editor's opinion is, from pros to critique groups, family and friends; and for children's stories, kids. Others' ideas and opinions open up worlds that may not have been considered. One of my instructors once told me one doesn't write a book, one re-writes a book.

Start by Changing Hats
It is crucial to keep your writer's hat on to revise as much as possible before asking someone else to read your work. If you're a beginner, you may need more advise than a more experienced writer. I know I did and still do. So, if what you offer is the best you can do, after running through your own checklist(s), then be satisfied with that. An editor once told me that I am going to "make it." You know why? No matter how much she finds that needs revision, I'm grateful for her insights and always work to improve by considering her advice. The writers who never give up, she says, are the ones who succeed. For it is well known (to quote the lovely phrase read often in Alexander McCall Smith's books), the best way to learn to write is to: Write!

When it's time to don your editor's hat, run through a checklist to make sure you've covered as many bases as possible. Start with a standard list and add to it as you become more experienced. My list has blossomed into a folder and encompasses the three types of writing I've focused on so far: articles, short stories and now, children's novels.

Basic checklist for a children's story
Make sure your story has:

an intriguing title
a beginning, middle and end
each paragraph that contains a beginning, middle and end
a beginning and end that compliment each other. A common way to view this is that your story has come full circle; your ending circles back to the beginning
a story arc: the action builds to a climax and ends quickly
an intriguing story problem
a main character who grows and changes by the end
REAL CONFLICT, which is the basis of a good story
action that is not predictable
age-appropriate names and content that is appropriate
everything explained clearly
"kid friendliness"--cut "adult" words and references

A Peek at Editor Know-How
Back in the day (in the '90s), I dipped a toe as a correspondent for our local newspaper. My very first published article, now framed and resting on my wall, suffered losing my beautiful, well-thought-out title to a drastic editor-knows-best change. After that, my poignant summaries and heartfelt endings in many articles suffered the last and sometimes multiple paragraph cuts at the end, for lack of space. Most painful, was the cut in pay (pay, you say? Yes, those were the days when newspaper correspondents got paid) I suffered at the lens of my husband, whose accompanying photograph made one-third more than my article. It's how I grew my first layer of skin. The bonus: I learned to enjoy editors' economy of words. I wouldn't call our exchanges conversations, exactly, but in the editors' rushed and few words, I understood what was expected of me; and learned to skip-the-chit-chat, easy with even a glimpse at the volume of paper on my editors' desks.

Today, it is doubtful that any local publication can pay its writers (hopefully some do), but writing for them for free still gives writers the benefit of working with an editor (and getting published). Just for fun, here is a short list of some of the ways editors have helped my pieces and stories see print

(albeit, not without some degree of pain):

For one of my short stories the editor cut off my ending and ended the story "early"--inwardly a move I didn't like; but I held my tongue and once published, I saw the wisdom. Lesson: it's best to be agreeable with your editor unless her change, in your opinion, compromises your story's intregity. In my case, her idea improved the story a great deal.
In another story, the same editor asked me to add an ending and suggested what she'd like to see. It took me about two minutes to add the ending she suggested. She emailed me right back and was delighted with what I had done, and amazed that the change came so quickly. I chalked the speed of my reaction up to a rapport we had established and her expertise at knowing how to take my story where it needed to go.
For an article I researched and interviewed over many months time, my editor loved the piece, but the competition at the magazine was so fierce that she had to fight to get my article published. The outcome is one of my proudest pieces, to date.
Saved the best for last: one prominent children's magazine bought three of my articles, paid me, and yet hasn't published one of them so far. It was great to get paid, but I'd really rather see the articles in print. Go figure!

Next month: Critique Group Do's and Don'ts

Linda Wilson, a former elementary teacher and ICL graduate, has

published over 100 articles for adults and children and six short

stories for children. Recently, she completed Joyce Sweeney's

online fiction and picture book courses. She is currently

working on several projects for children. Follow

Linda on Facebook.

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Part 6: Hyphens in Compound Adjectives

Compound Adjectives before Nouns

If punctuation is a guide to help your reader understand more quickly and easily, then hyphens can be very useful signposts. One of the most important and overlooked functions of the hyphen is to warn the reader, "Hey, I'm a compound adjective!" Unfamiliar with the terminology? It doesn't matter. Your readers' brains are familiar with the reality.

Take this classic example:

Hyphens, just like commas, can decide who lives and who dies.

Hyphens in Compound Adjectives

A compound adjective is two words that function as one word to modify a noun. In "man-eating alligator," man and eating work together as one unit. It's not a man alligator and an eating alligator. It's a man-eating alligator.

Rule: If a compound adjective comes before a noun, you can (and often should) hyphenate it.

A thin-bladed knife

A 30-mile race

A nervous-looking boy

A leather-bound book

Bird-like legs

A well-known politician

Exception : If the compound adjective uses an adverb ending in –ly, don't hyphenate. This is because the –ly already alerts the reader that this will be a compound adjective.

A badly cooked steak

A wildly painted car

A quickly written memo

Note: Some people prefer to leave out the hyphen if the meaning is clear without, but that can be dangerous. The meaning is obvious to you, since you wrote it. The reader doesn't have the same advantage. So be careful if you decide to omit these hyphens. And always be on the lookout for situations where the lack of hyphen can completely change the meaning, as in the examples below.

Hyphens Clear up Ambiguity

From Grammar Monkeys:

Small-state senator (a senator from a small state)

Small state senator (a state senator who is short and thin)

A violent weather conference (a weather conference where people punch each other a lot)

A violent-weather conference (where meteorologists professionally discuss violent weather)

A hot yoga teacher (an attractive yoga teacher)

A hot-yoga teacher (one who teaches yoga in a purposely hot environment, as in the style of Bikram yoga)

From Grammarbook.com (a great resource)

I have a few more important things to do. (A few more tasks remain on my list of important things to do)

I have a few more-important things to do. (I can't do what you suggest because I have tasks that are more important.)

He returned the stolen vehicle report. (At first, most of us will think he returned the vehicle he stole. Then we come to "report" and we're confused.)

He returned the stolen-vehicle report. (Here it's clear that what he's returning is a report about a stolen vehicle. The vehicle is probably still missing.)

From Apastyle.org

Students who live in two parent homes (students who split their time between two homes where parents also live)

Students who live in two-parent homes (students who live in a home with both parents)

From Wikipedia:

Zero-liability protection (you are not responsible in any way if something bad happens)

Zero liability protection (you have no zero protection if something bad happens)

Examples I've come across lately in reading:

Hard sell tactics (selling tactics which are difficult to perform)

Hard-sell tactics (aggressive selling tactics which perhaps play on the fears of the potential buyer)

A long deserted chamber (a long—perhaps narrow—chamber that happens to be deserted at the moment)

A long-deserted chamber (a chamber that has been deserted for a long time)

Hyphens Make Reading Smoother

Here are some other examples that aren't so ambiguous but that will still often trip up the reader for a moment if you leave out the hyphen. Making your reader stop to think and re-read is something you should reserve for clever plot twists, elegant and thought-provoking lines, or intriguing ideas. Don't make them stop and re-read because of lacking punctuation.

Steel-plated boots

Custom-made device

Death-dealing steel

Decent-sized vessel

Grey-haired man

Sword-shaped hole

North-facing terrace

Cream-colored stones

Dirt-eating scum

Fire-lit faces

Remember that if you want to wrap your reader in your characters' world, you need to provide as few pointless distractions as possible. And unclear punctuation is one of the biggest culprits in the world of pointless distraction.

For more in this series:

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 1: Commas Save Lives; the Vocative Comma

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 2: Commas and Periods in Dialogue
Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 3: Commas with Participial Phrases

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 4: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Question Mark

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Pt 5: Adjectives with Commas

How to Avoid Exposition in Dialogue

Good dialogue can stick the reader right in the middle of the action. It can reveal a lot about the characters and help pacing. But writing dialogue can be tricky.

Today's pitfall is what I call "exposition in dialogue" or "dialogue for the benefit of the reader." This is when two characters tell each other things they both already know and have no reason to talk about, just to give the reader important information. It's unnatural and awkward and should generally be avoided.

Example of Exposition in Dialogue:

I'm going to exaggerate a little here to illustrate the point.

Scene: Lila and Tom are brother and sister, both young adults. They're together when Tom gets a phone call. He hardly says anything, and when he hangs up, he turns to Lila.

"John Abernathy's dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair. "John Abernathy is our grandfather. He owned two canneries in Alaska, and I remember how bad they smelled. Our mother fell out with him and we haven't seen him for ten years, but still, I can't believe it. We didn't even know he was sick."

Okay, so most of the examples in our writing aren't this bad, but I see less glaring cases all the time, and it's something we need to watch for. These two people already know this information. There's no reason they'd say it like this.

Solutions:

1) Narrate.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair. John Abernathy was their grandfather, but they hadn't seen him in years, not since he and their mother had fallen out. They'd visited him once in Alaska, where he owned two canneries. Lila could still smell the fish if she closed her eyes. How could he be dead? She hadn't even known he was sick.

2) Argue. Twist the conversation into an argument to give them a reason to discuss it. Maybe your characters remember things differently. Maybe they have different ideas about the consequences or the importance or the truth of the background information.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair. "Mom's gonna be sorry now."

"It wasn't her fault they argued. Grandpa--"

"That's just her side of the story. We don't know what happened. And she didn't have to cut him out of our lives completely. Now we've lost all these years, and we'll never get them back."

"It wasn't exactly as if he was the best grandpa before, hiding himself away in Alaska. He cared more about his canneries than he ever cared about us."

3) Reminisce. Have the characters take a walk down memory lane. Be careful with this, however, as it can sound forced.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," said Lila, sinking into a chair. "Dead? He was strong as a bull."

"Ten years ago he was. But things change."

"Remember the tour he gave us of his canneries in Alaska?"

"He let me chop the heads off the fish. I thought it was the coolest thing."

"It was disgusting. And the smell...but he was so proud of everything. I wish he and Mom hadn't fought. Now it's too late.."

4) Tell a character who doesn't know. Bring a third character into the conversation, one who really doesn't know the information. Use this sparingly, as it can also come across as too convenient and lazy on the author's part.

"John Abernathy's dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair.

"Who's John Abernathy?" Tom's girlfriend asked.

"Our grandpa. Mom's dad."

"I didn't know he was still around. You never talk about him."

"We haven't seen him for years," Tom said. "He does fish canning up in Alaska. Mom had an argument with him a long time ago and wouldn't let us have anything to do with him."

"I'm so sorry."

More examples:

"Captain, if we get a whole in the hull, we'll sink!"

Uh...he's a pretty bad captain if he doesn't know this.

Solution: be more specific: "Captain, a whole that big will sink us in less than fifteen minutes."

"As you know, Jake got married six months ago. Now I can't talk to him without his wife hanging on his arm."

Solution: rephrase to build on what the listener knows: "Ever since Jake got married, I can't talk to him without his wife hanging on his arm."

Final Test:

When you think your dialogue is good, read it aloud. That's often the best way to hear if something sounds unnatural.

Melinda Brasher currently teaches English as a second language in the beautiful Czech Republic. She loves the sound of glaciers calving and the smell of old books. Her travel articles and short fiction appear in Go Nomad, International Living, Electric Spec, Intergalactic Medicine Show, and others. For an e-book collection of some of her favorite pieces, check out Leaving Home. Visit her online at http://www.melindabrasher.com.

Revision, Part 2: Editing Fiction after a Long Break

Needlepoint art made for me by a friend that faces my computer.
It reminds me every day to keep on trying, Photo by Linda Wilson

Whatever the reason for a long gap in time while writing your novel, measures can be taken to jump right back in. In the past I've tried writing an air-tight outline, or so I thought; following the plot line on 3 x 5 cards, or simply jotting the story on paper and computer as it came to me.

The magic didn't happen until I laid out the story on 12 x 18 paper. My current story has taken up four of these sheets. What a help to see at one glance the story in its entirety, to back up and make a change in the proper place when a later tidbit needs to be taken out or added in.

If you want to give this method a try, here is what you'll need.

Ready, set . . .

A long absence from your story: Mine was four months
A pencil: Mine are #2's and an electric sharpener for a sharp point, which makes me feel sharp
Color Sharpie or pen: To keep track of the thread of the story
The latest version of your story, most likely typed: Useful as a guide
12 x 18 or similar size large paper: Divided into sections for chapters
Scratch paper: To work out problems before entry
4 x 6 lined post-it paper: For story basics, i.e., story problem, list of characters, genre, age level, etc.
Bulletin Board: To display book title and post-it papers covering story basics

. . . Go . . .

Divide the 12 x 18 paper into six sections, one for each chapter. Label each section by chapter number and title, if applicable.
Using a past version, notecards, and/or outline, tell your story in bullets chapter by chapter
With color pen, include separate bullets listing the thread of your story. My story is a mystery, so I jotted down what mysterious thing(s) happened in each chapter, making these color bullets a separate list to help make sure that the story moves forward
At the end, use a section for questions, points not yet made but want to include, illustration notes, etc.

Post on your bulletin board the 4 x 6 post-it papers, which will include:

Title
Book Basics: Story problem, verb tense, setting, theme, etc.
12 x 18 pages
List of characters and their role in the story
Include any pictures you have collected of the setting, characters, etc.

Essentially, you've wallpapered your bulletin board with your entire book written on post-its and 12 x 18 paper.

Now what?

Leave this project up on your board while you move on. Once you've worked up the next project in a similar way, leave it and go back to the original project and begin writing or re-writing your story. (My additional projects get taped to the inside doors of my office so I can view each one separately at a glance). When the original project is written, file the posted materials in case you need them again and begin sending the draft out to your writer's group, then begin marketing it. Now, time to move on to the next project, which is ready to go.

On a personal note: I don't know if I'll need to continue this process with more experience under my belt. But I'm happy to have found a method that works for me. And, I think it will work even if I spend less time away.

Please comment: Tell us what method works for you. Have you tried this method? If you haven't, do you think it could work for you?

For Revision, Part 1: please visit An Early Fiction Checklist

Linda Wilson, a former elementary teacher and ICL graduate, has published over 40 articles for adults and children and six short stories for children. Recently she completed Joyce Sweeney's online fiction and picture book courses. She is currently working on several projects for children. Follow Linda on Facebook.

Writers On The Move