Your Character's Smirking...or Is He? Synonym Pitfalls.

This is a smirk.
And from what I know of this character,
he probably just kissed his brother's girlfriend
or killed someone's best friend.
Not a nice smile.

I've been running into a problem lately:  characters I otherwise like are constantly smirking.  I'm reading the third book now where this word appears in conjunction with friendly amusement, tenderness, or affection, and if I were sitting down with the authors, I might not be able to resist quoting The Princess Bride:  "You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means."

To Smirk or Not To Smirk

To me, a smirk is cocky, smug, or cruel.  At the very least, it's a teasing sort of smile, or a "hah!  I got you!"  Smirking is what the bad guy does as he pulls one over on your hero, not what your hero does when he tells the heroine that he loves her.

But after so many counterexamples, I thought maybe I had my definition wrong.  So I looked it up.

Oxford:  "to smile in an irritatingly smug, conceited, or silly way."

Merriam-Webster:  "to smile in an unpleasant way because you are pleased with yourself, glad about someone else's trouble, etc."

Apparently back in the day it used to mean simply "to smile," but we're not back in the day, and even if you're writing historical fiction, it's a dangerous game to use an old definition of a word that now has quite a different meaning.

Other Smiling Words

I've come across the same thing with grin.  To me, a grin is a big, face-scrunching smile, usually silly, mischievous, humorous, or teasing.  It's not the kind of thing you usually do in, for example, a sentimental or bittersweet moment.

Laughing Words

Synonyms for 'laugh' can cause problems too.  If your tough manly man giggles, that's interesting characterization.  Maybe he's really a little girl at heart.  Maybe he gets nervous easily in unfamiliar situations.  But you'd better mean it if you use it.  If a character guffaws at something that's not so funny to the reader, you might lose credibility.  Unless, of course, over-laughter is part of his personality.  Again, great characterization--but only if you mean it that way.

Walking Words

I read a book where no one walked anywhere.  Instead, everyone paced.  They paced to the door, paced across the street, paced to each other.  And I don't think they ever actually walked back and forth, which is what I think of as pacing.  It was almost as if the author had been told not to use "boring" words like 'walk.'  This author also rarely wrote 'small' or 'little,' replacing them instead with 'minute.'  By the end, I was almost throwing things at my Kindle and yelling, "Stop pacing, you minute boy!"  

There are many, many sort-of synonyms for walk:  stroll, stride, saunter, amble, trudge, plod, hike, tramp, march, stride, wander, ramble, tread, promenade, roam, traipse, take the air; advance, proceed, mosey, perambulate, etc, etc..

They all mean different things, and most can be good--in the right place.  But if you start using one over and over--especially if it conveys the wrong meaning, you risk annoying your reader.  And don't ever use "perambulate" unless you mean it to be funny.  

Looking Words

Gaze, glance, gape, stare, peer, peek, watch, examine, inspect, scan, scrutinize, consider, observe, ogle, espy, etc., etc.

Again, most can be good in moderation, but the current book I'm reading had a line like this:  "He glimpsed up quickly."  No...to glimpse is to catch a quick look at something, usually before it disappears or you move past it.  You can't glimpse up.  Then there was this:  "He glanced one eye over his shoulder."  'Glance' is intransitive (has no direct object).  You can't glance something.  You have to simply glance.

'Said' Words

Don't even get me started.  Maybe I'll explore this subject next time.  I'll just say now that if you use a dialogue tag like "admonished" or "theorized" more than once or twice in a book, reconsider.  And if you insist on using lots of unusual synonyms for 'said,' make sure the meaning really fits the dialogue.  Don't just use a word you randomly pointed at on your "synonyms for said" cheat sheet.

Using Synonyms (plying, wielding, manipulating...)

Just because there is a synonym doesn't mean you should automatically use it, just to cut repetition or avoid "boring" words.  Be sure that the synonym means what you think it means and that it won't make your reader think you're joking.  (Ascertain that the synonym signifies what you postulate that it betokens and that it will not induce the peruser to opine that you're jesting.)  And generally only use words that are in your active vocabulary.  Else the danger is too high that you'll misuse them.

Obviously, styles differ, and if yours is more flowery, more of these types of words might fit.  Sometimes you can play with definitions and stretch words for creativity's sake.  But you have to do it intentionally...and carefully.

How to Avoid the Issue

Perhaps the real problem is that we often write too many of these types of words to begin with.  A critiquer friend of mine calls them "stage directions":  all the looking, laughing, nodding, smiling words.  Maybe it's best to simply cut down on them altogether.  Then we won't have to rely on innacurate or laughable synonyms.

Melinda Brasher currently teaches English as a second language in the beautiful Czech Republic.  She loves the sound of glaciers calving and the smell of old books.  Her travel articles and short fiction appear in Go Nomad, International Living, Electric Spec, Intergalactic Medicine Show, and others.  For an e-book collection of some of her favorite published pieces, check out Leaving Home.  For something a little more medieval, read her YA fantasy novel, Far-Knowing. Visit her online at http://www.melindabrasher.com.

How to Avoid Exposition in Dialogue

Good dialogue can stick the reader right in the middle of the action.  It can reveal a lot about the characters and help pacing.  But writing dialogue can be tricky.

Today's pitfall is what I call "exposition in dialogue" or "dialogue for the benefit of the reader."  This is when two characters tell each other things they both already know and have no reason to talk about, just to give the reader important information.  It's unnatural and awkward and should generally be avoided.

Example of Exposition in Dialogue:

I'm going to exaggerate a little here to illustrate the point.

Scene:  Lila and Tom are brother and sister, both young adults.  They're together when Tom gets a phone call.  He hardly says anything, and when he hangs up, he turns to Lila.

"John Abernathy's dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair.  "John Abernathy is our grandfather.  He owned two canneries in Alaska, and I remember how bad they smelled.  Our mother fell out with him and we haven't seen him for ten years, but still, I can't believe it.  We didn't even know he was sick."  

Okay, so most of the examples in our writing aren't this bad, but I see less glaring cases all the time, and it's something we need to watch for.  These two people already know this information.  There's no reason they'd say it like this.

Solutions:

1)  Narrate.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair.  John Abernathy was their grandfather, but they hadn't seen him in years, not since he and their mother had fallen out.  They'd visited him once in Alaska, where he owned two canneries.  Lila could still smell the fish if she closed her eyes.  How could he be dead?  She hadn't even known he was sick.

2)  Argue.  Twist the conversation into an argument to give them a reason to discuss it.  Maybe your characters remember things differently.  Maybe they have different ideas about the consequences or the importance or the truth of the background information.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair.  "Mom's gonna be sorry now."

"It wasn't her fault they argued.  Grandpa--"

"That's just her side of the story.  We don't know what happened.  And she didn't have to cut him out of our lives completely.  Now we've lost all these years, and we'll never get them back."

"It wasn't exactly as if he was the best grandpa before, hiding himself away in Alaska.  He cared more about his canneries than he ever cared about us."

3)  Reminisce.  Have the characters take a walk down memory lane.  Be careful with this, however, as it can sound forced.

"Grandpa John is dead."

"No," said Lila, sinking into a chair.  "Dead?  He was strong as a bull."

"Ten years ago he was.  But things change."

"Remember the tour he gave us of his canneries in Alaska?"

"He let me chop the heads off the fish.  I thought it was the coolest thing."

"It was disgusting.  And the smell...but he was so proud of everything. I wish he and Mom hadn't fought.  Now it's too late.."

4)  Tell a character who doesn't know.  Bring a third character into the conversation, one who really doesn't know the information.  Use this sparingly, as it can also come across as too convenient and lazy on the author's part.

"John Abernathy's dead."

"No," Lila said, sinking into a chair.

"Who's John Abernathy?" Tom's girlfriend asked. 

"Our grandpa.  Mom's dad."

"I didn't know he was still around.  You never talk about him."

"We haven't seen him for years," Tom said.  "He does fish canning up in Alaska.  Mom had an argument with him a long time ago and wouldn't let us have anything to do with him."

"I'm so sorry."

More examples:

"Captain, if we get a whole in the hull, we'll sink!"

Uh...he's a pretty bad captain if he doesn't know this.

Solution:  be more specific:  "Captain, a whole that big will sink us in less than fifteen minutes." 


"As you know, Jake got married six months ago.  Now I can't talk to him without his wife hanging on his arm."

Solution:  rephrase to build on what the listener knows:  "Ever since Jake got married, I can't talk to him without his wife hanging on his arm."

Final Test:

When you think your dialogue is good, read it aloud.  That's often the best way to hear if something sounds unnatural.

Melinda Brasher currently teaches English as a second language in the beautiful Czech Republic.  She loves the sound of glaciers calving and the smell of old books.  Her travel articles and short fiction appear in Go Nomad, International Living, Electric Spec, Intergalactic Medicine Show, and others.  For an e-book collection of some of her favorite pieces, check out Leaving Home.  Visit her online at http://www.melindabrasher.com.

Avoiding Common Punctuation Errors Part 2: Dialogue

Commas and Periods in Dialogue

We all love dialogue in books, but your readers will love it less if it’s punctuated awkwardly. Here is the solution to a common error in dialogue punctuation.

First, make the distinction between what I call “dialogue tags” and “action tags.”

A dialogue tag uses said or another similar speaking word.  For example, “he said,” “I asked,” or “she whispered.”  As long as you don’t get carried away with attention-grabbing synonyms like ordered, commiserated, murmured, contradicted, these dialogue tags are good because they’re short and almost invisible.  They let the reader focus on the dialogue itself.  However, you don’t want to use them with every line of dialogue, or you’ll sound repetitive and choppy.

An action tag does not contain a synonym for said.  Instead, it’s simply an action the character performs before, during, or while speaking.  Example: “Magda slammed her fist on the table,” or “Simon carefully untangled the knotted rope.”  These are great because they break up the dialogue while giving either a better insight into the character or a better image of the scene as a whole.  When using an action tag, you don’t have to put in the dialogue tag—and usually should’t—because the reader understands that the person doing the action is the same person speaking.

Magda slammed her fist on the table.  “I’m not going to ignore this any longer.”

“So, you think I’m manipulating you.”  Simon carefully untangled the knotted rope.

In good writing, you use both dialogue and action tags.  But in good writing, you also remember to punctuate them correctly.     

Rule #1:  Use a comma with dialogue tags.

“I love you,” she whispered.

He said, “That’s unfortunate.”

Rule #2:  Use a period with action tags.

“I love you.”  She twined her fingers through his.

He coughed.  “That’s unfortunate.”

Miscellaneous Rules: 

When combining the two types of tags, you’ll usually need the comma.

He rose to his feet and shouted, “Not guilty!”

“Order in the court,” the judge demanded, slamming down his gavel.

If your dialogue ends with a question mark or exclamation point, capitalize as if it were a comma.

“Do you love me?” she asked.

“Absolutely not!” he yelled.

Don’t be fooled by words like smile.

Incorrect:  He smiled, “Welcome to your worst nightmare.” 

Correct:  He smiled.  “Welcome to your worst nightmare.”

Be careful with "said" when it has its own direct object.  That makes it its own sentence, and should be punctuated like an action tag.  
Incorrect:  "I'm tired," she said it with an apologetic smile.
Correct:  "I'm tired."  She said it with an apologetic smile.
OR:  "I'm tired," she said with an apologetic smile.

The Gray Area

There is room for debate here, on some verbs like laugh, sob, spit, etc., which involve the mouth or throat, but aren’t really speaking words.  For example, I think that you can sob out words, so I can use “sob” as a dialogue tag or an action tag.  I also think you can laugh and talk (rather unintelligibly) at the same time, so I sometimes use laugh as a dialogue tag.  When you’re really angry, I think you can spit words.  Others disagree.  I believe, however, that if you make the conscious decision on a gray-area verb, it’s a matter of style, not a mistake.

Examples: 

“I killed him,” she sobbed. (Sounds good to me, as if she’s crying and talking at the same time.)

“I killed him.” She sobbed.  (Sounds awkward to me, like she said it and only then started crying.)

“I killed him.” She sobbed into her bloody hands. (Sounds good.  If I want to use these gray verbs as action tags, adding a little extra detail usually gets rid of the choppiness.)

Punctuation is a guide for your readers.  Make it work for you and for them.

For more, read Part 1: Commas Save Lives; the Vocative Comma.

Join me next month for more about the exciting world of punctuation.

Note that these examples and rules are for Standard American English (SAE).  Punctuation in other regions may differ.  If you have any examples of difference, we'd love to see them in the comments below.  Thanks!

Read Melinda Brasher's free short story, "A Learned Man," on Electric Spec's current issue.   It's a bit of a ghost story based on a two-page folk tale she read in a library in small-town El Salvador.  Inspiration will sneak up and whack you on the head if you're not careful.  You can also find more of her work on melindabrasher.com 

Dialogue Important in Memoirs Too

The use of dialogue is important in memoirs as well as in fiction.

Many of us assume that because we can’t recall conversations word for word, we can’t write dialogue. Memoirs are your “memories,” so you can take a little creative license with them. Actually, no one recalls conversations in detail. If you do remember a significant line or exchange, by all means quote it. But more often you will simply remember that a conversation took place. You will have to imagine the conversation as a novelist would, without all the uhs and ers, tangents and digressions that people use when they talk.

Here’s what dialogue is:
• Talk is an ACTION. An ideal, compact way to advance your story by having one character tell the other what’s happening—to reveal, admit, incite, accuse, lie, etc.
• A way to define a character. The way someone speaks—accent, vocabulary, idiom, inflection—tells as much about what he is like as his actions do. And let’s us see him better than just using description.
• One way to show emotion. Characters reveal themselves when under stress or angry. Dialogue is used to create an emotional effect in the reader.
 • Another way to show point of view POV. (in whose head the reader should be.) This is not quite as critical in Memoirs as in fiction, because it may be all from your POV. Depends how you write it—if you’re writing someone else’s story, you may want to write it in story form, from “within your character’s head” or third person—Suzy did, she said, etc.
• Often used to get across what is NOT said. Example, if you want to show that someone wants to avoid an unpleasant encounter, you can show this by having them talk around the subject uppermost in their mind, but never quite touch it. In this way, you’re asking the reader to read between the lines. It’s tricky, but think about how you talk to someone yourself when you’re angry at them but don’t want to tell them exactly why—by being sarcastic, arch, nitpicky, over solicitous, etc.

Techniques. One of the most common reasons for flat, voiceless dialogue is formality. Dialogue sounds artificial when it is totally coherent and logical. You want thoughts that are loose, words that tumble out.

• Use more contractions—“I would not (wouldn’t) do that if I were you.” UNLESS you want to portray your character as being stiff or pompous or that English is not his first language. “Is it not wonderful?” has a Continental flair.
• Use sentence fragments. Example: Instead of:
“Is she sick?”
“It does not matter if she is or is not. She is not going to go to the party.”
Write:
“Is she sick?” “Doesn’t matter, she’s not going.”

Taglines. Whenever possible, try to use an action instead of a tagline (he said, she said). One of the reasons for not using a lot of taglines is to develop each person’s distinct voice, so that all your characters don’t sound the same. Hint: If you do use taglines, it’s better to stick with the word “said”, rather than trying to come up with substitutes such as cry, interject, interrupt, mused, state, counter, conclude, mumble, intone, roar, exclaim, fume, explode. These are “telling” words. Let the words in the dialogue show the emotion. And you can NEVER smile words, or squint them, or laugh them.

DIALOGUE DO’S AND DON’T’S 

DO:
• Establish the point of view (POV) of each character, i.e. his or her values and attitudes
• Recreate the impression of natural speech.
• Use dramatic structure to shape the sequence of what is said.
DON’T:
• Let characters make long speeches
• Put in “dead” dialog that doesn’t further the story line, e.g., “Hello, how are you?” “Fine, how are you.”
• Use too many odd spellings, for dialect
• Use too many taglines or substitute different words for “said.”

------------------


A native Montanan, Heidi M. Thomas now lives in North-central Arizona. Her first novel, Cowgirl
Dreams, is based on her grandmother, and the sequel, Follow the Dream, won the national WILLA Award. Heidi has a degree in journalism, a certificate in fiction writing, and is a member of the Independent Editors Guild. She teaches writing and edits, blogs, and her next book Dare to Dream Will be published next May.

Don't Talk to Me -- Show Me!

     "Don't talk of love! Show me!" sings Eliza in My Fair Lady. That comment could come from readers too.

Dialogue is often a challenge for writers, yet it is so important, whether you're writing a modern or historical novel, or a non-fiction anecdote. As the writer, you want your reader to see your characters as people living in a real world. One way to do this is to show the reader the scene, not just tell them the spoken words.

Next time someone tells you a story, concentrate on your own reactions. You'll find you don't just hear the words. You see the expression on the speaker's face, and you're aware of others in the room. You notice what they do with their hands and whether they look at you directly or avoid your eyes. In fact, if the story goes on too long, you may have difficulty even concentrating on what they're trying to tell you.

Don't just give your reader the words. Give them enough information that they can picture the entire scene, not just the speaker.

Let's say I want to show my reader that the neighbour across the road from my main character is an interfering old lady. I decide to use dialogue to make the point. I could say,

The old lady from across the road came in the door and said, "I just popped across to bring you this little pot of jam. I was given two, and you know, I hardly ever use it. I also wondered if you were aware that the children are playing outside in their school uniforms? They are climbing the mulberry trees in the front yard and they could tear them. Besides, those white shirts must be so difficult to get clean. And what a cute little boy this is."

How boring is that? You know what she said, but that's about all. How about . . .

     Coo-ee!"

     Marsha wiped the last of the egg yolk from Bobby's face and hands as her neighbour walked uninvited through the front door and into the room. "Hello, Mrs. Cartwright. What can I do for you?"

     "I just popped across to bring you this little pot of jam. I was given two, and you know, with living alone, I hardly ever use it. I'm sure with all your children you use lots of jam for sandwiches and things." The old lady glanced around the untidy room with a look of disapproval written across her lined face.

     "Thank you so much. Please put it down on the table." Marsha handed the little boy a plastic cup of milk and waited for the real reason for her neighbour's visit. She had only lived across the road from Mrs. Millicent Cartwright for just over a month, but she knew there was a better reason than a pot of jam.

     “Dear—I wondered if you were aware that the children are playing outside in their school uniforms? They are climbing the mulberry trees again, and I thought you should know." Marsha rescued the cup of milk from being turned upside down and placed it on the nearby counter. "Those white shirts must be so difficult to get clean," the old lady continued. She reached out and patted Bobby on the cheek, then pulled her hand back in alarm as the toddler swung his head round and opened his mouth.

     "Oh, my goodness! Does he bite?"

     "No, Mrs. Cartwright. Not usually." Not unless silly old ladies pat him on the cheek when he's stuck in his high chair and can't escape. "Thank you for being concerned about the children's shirts." Marsha lifted the little boy from his high-chair. "I told the twins they could pick me some mulberries before going for a bath. Their shirts are already dirty."

     She hid a smile as the old lady stepped back hastily to avoid Bobby as he raced past her on unsteady legs to see what the twins were up to.


Better? Hopefully you not only know what the old lady had to say, but you have learned more about her and her relations with the family across the road.

So next time you want to share some dialogue with your reader, "Don't talk of whatever--show them!"

OVER TO YOU: What action in the above excerpt drew you into the story the most? Please respond in the comment section.

SHIRLEY CORDER  lives a short walk from the seaside in Port Elizabeth, South Africa, with her husband Rob. She is author of Strength Renewed: Meditations for your Journey through Breast Cancer. Shirley is also contributing author to ten other books and has published hundreds of devotions and articles internationally. 

Visit Shirley on her website to inspire and encourage writers, or on Rise and Soar, her website for encouraging those on the cancer journey. 

Follow her on Twitter or "like" her Author's page on Facebook, and now that she has a GPS, she may even follow you back.

Dialog that Delivers

Dialog is such an integral part of writing and when it's good

your writing soars,

so when it is bad,

well let's just say

it does the opposite.

Here's ten tips to keep your dialog from sounding false, too formal or flat.

1. Listen: You will often find me at the local malls or in coffee shops listening to people and writing down snippets of conversations. Why? I find it's the best way for me to review exactly how people talk.  

2. Read your dialog out loud: If you read your dialog out loud and it sounds stiff you know you've got it wrong. Easy fix: check your dialog and use contractions whenever possible. Most of us speak using contractions and shorter sentences.

3. Don't talk too much: Keep your dialog short and snappy and you'll find you keep your readers happy. Long passages of dialog are difficult to read.

4. Break up dialog with action: To prevent talking too much, break up dialog with action. Have your character sit, stand, stretch or do yoga poses. Have them carry, settle, sigh and lean. Have them do anything that will keep your reader interested. 

5. Don't use dialog to tell info already known: Pet peeve  #1 is dialog that tells the reader a lot of stuff that the other character should know already. For example: "Remember how last year when we went to the cabin and we sat on the porch. How the lake looked so calm and then the storm rose and a tornado took the house next door completely away? The whole building gone, just like that. I'd never been so frightened in my life. You said you hadn't either."Dialog might not be the way to give your reader all that information. In fact, I'm sure it isn't.

6. Don't overdo unique tags: Readers tend to skip right over he said/she said, which is a good thing. They stop long enough to get their bearings, but are not distracted. Overdoing unique tags brings focus to the tags and away from your dialog. Use sparingly: questioned, asked, inquired, squealed, squeaked, spoke, snarled, stammered, etc. 

7. Cut out unnecessary responses: I know you say, "Hello," and then your friend says, "Hello." Or you say, "Do you want coffee?" and your spouse says, "Yes," but in dialog you can often refrain from using "hello," "goodbye," "Yes, and "No." Instead, keep the dialog and action moving.

8. People argue: Yes, that's what happens in conversations. People argue and try to get their point across and insist they are right. This creates conflict. Conflict is good. Use it in your dialog whenever you can.

9. Create distinct voices: Work to distinguish all your characters by their voices. You can do this with word choice, the order in which words are spoken or by using dialect. Word of advice: go easy on dialect. A word or two is all that is necessary to let us know they are Scottish, French or from The South.

10. Finally, punctuate correctly: 

"I'm sure that's not what happened," she said. Comma inside the final quote, lower case "s" on she. "I'm sure that's not what happened." She rose. Period inside the final quote and upper case "S" on she. 

"I'm sure that's not what happened!" she said. Exclamation inside quote, and lower case "s" on she.

"I'm sure that's not what happened!" She rose. Exclamation inside quote, and upper case "S" on she.

"I'm sure that's not what happened," she said, "at least that's not how I remember it." When the sentence continues, use commas inside final quotes and after "said." 

Use single quotes inside double quotes if you are quoting someone else within the quote. 

Keep these tips in mind and you'll find yourself writing dialog that rocks your reader's world!

_____________________________

D. Jean Quarles is a writer of Women's Fiction and a co-author of a Young Adult Science Fiction Series. Her latest book, Flight from the Water Planet, Book 1 of The Exodus Series was written with coauthor, Austine Etcheverry.

D. Jean loves to tell stories of personal growth – where success has nothing to do with money or fame, but of living life to the fullest. She is also the author of the novels: Rocky's Mountains, Fire in the Hole and, Perception. The Mermaid, an award winning short story was published in the anthology, Tales from a Sweltering City.

She is a wife, mother, grandmother and business coach. In her free time . . . ha! ha! ha! Anyway, you can find more about D. Jean Quarles, her writing and her books at her website at www.djeanquarles.com

You can also follower her at www.djeanquarles.blogspot.com or on Facebook

Notable Dialogue

Dialogue is important to our stories. Without it our story could be rather boring to the readers. Dialogue can add emotion such as anger, excitement, humor, etc. It can lend mystery, suspense, and terror. Dialogue can provide our stories with backbone. So it stands to reason we need to get it right.

When we edit our work, there are some things for which we need to watch. For instance, explanations that are outside the dialogue. These are generally emotions. Try cutting them and see if it reads better. If it doesn't, you may need to rewrite your dialogue.

We all know about the -ly words. Most of these are associated with adjectives which describe an emotion (angrily, lovingly, etc.). Cut as many as you can of these or rewrite it. Not all can be eliminated, but do try to eliminate as many as you can.

Speaker attributions are something you need to analyze closely. Are any of them physical impossibilities? Example: "Call me tonight," she smiled. This type of attribution can brand you as an amateur. Are there any verbs other than "said"? There can be an occasional exception, but for the most part "said" is all you need. Speaker attributions are for clarifying who is speaking. You may be able to eliminate them altogether or replace with beats. Do not overdo the beats because they can be distracting. A balance of attributions and beats is preferred.

Do not start a paragraph with a speaker attribution. Always start with dialogue and place the attribution at the first comfortable spot. Example: "Stand back," he said, "or I'll shoot." Also make sure you put the pronoun before the verb (he said). If you have several characters speaking in a scene, you can have a string of "saids" which can be monotonous. Using a beat can solve this problem.

Remember! Ellipsis is for gaps or a character's voice trailing off. An example of a gap would be when you are showing one side of a telephone conversation. Dashes are used to show an interruption.

When writing dialogue, paragraph more often, especially when it is something you want to stand out or you have new speakers.

I hope these pointers help as you self-edit your work.

Keep wrting!

Faye M. Tollison
Author of: To Tell the Truth
Upcoming books: The Bible Murders
                            Sarah's Secret
Member of: Sisters In Crime
                   Writers On The Move
www.fayemtollison.com
www.fayetollison.blogspot.com
www.fmtoll.wordpress.com

Writing -- The Daily Dozen

As promised, these final six tips complete the  Daily Dozen exercises for healthy writing.
The first six tips appeared on Writers on the Move last month.

Participles-- the -ing words

This month's warm-up starts yet again with verbs and the dreaded dangling modifiers. And I'm pretty sure every writer, no matter how experienced, has at least one somewhere in a closet or in a closeted manuscript.

Running along the road , the hotel was easy to spot.

Yes, the problem here is easy to spot as well--as easy as a hotel running down the road. The -ing word, now an adjectival form of the verb, attaches itself to the nearest subject in the sentence and hey presto! Fun all round.


But when you're in throes of involvement with your lead character working through his problems, it can be more difficult to isolate.


He thought through his options one by one. Mulling them over, the book seemed to provide the safest answer.


Still a dangling modifier--the book is not mulling over his options, but it's easy to miss this one as the subject of the previous sentence is the man doing the mulling.

Practice writing a few deliberately and you'll soon pick them out in your self-editing.


Dialogue

 Getting Into Your Character's Skins is an excellent article by Shirley Corder. Make sure each character has his or her own vocabulary and speech mannerisms. They should not all use "spiffing fun" as a favorite exclamation unless you show one character being so affected by another that he adopts the words.


This seems obvious but to make characters distinct, they should each have their own favorite, well-differentiated phrases.

Identify these from the start in your character planning.

The Missing Tip

This space is left quite deliberately. I would love you to post your vital daily writing tip in the comments box below and the best one, or ones, will be inserted here next week. 

The Warm Down--vital exercises.

Poetry--one a day

Write it but most of all read it. The compression needed to encapsulate sense and emotion is a wonderful lesson to learn and keep in mind when writing longer pieces.

Be it ten, or a hundred and ten thousand words, each one must be a necessary part of the whole. 

For short poems of the day, visit Magdalena Ball on her Poetry Mondays.

Read

All writers read, but take a chance to read out of your comfort zone to cross-fertilize ideas. Avoid the genre you write in yourself.

Try new avenues to explore new ideas. Go for the books you always told yourself you hated. If they're well written, they may well surprise you by stimulating your imagination in new ways.

 Relax 

A cop out? Not at all. Only with rest and relaxation can your mind work at optimum level. Set aside one day, or a half day if you really feel you can't afford the time, to pamper your writer's soul.

It's not a new idea. I loved it when I found it in The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. As the computer nerds say--garbage in, garbage out.

Take time to do what you love. Walk in the wild woods, visit art galleries and museums, socialize. And your writing will benefit accordingly.

 Anne Duguid is a senior content editor with MuseItUp Publishing and   her New Year's Resolution is to blog with helpful writing,editing and publishing tips at Slow and Steady Writers far more regularly than she managed in 2011.