We all love dialogue in books, but your readers will love it
less if it’s punctuated awkwardly. Here is the solution to a common error in
dialogue punctuation.
First, make the
distinction between what I call “dialogue tags” and “action tags.”
A dialogue tag uses
said or another similar speaking
word. For example, “he said,” “I asked,”
or “she whispered.” As long as you don’t
get carried away with attention-grabbing synonyms like ordered, commiserated, murmured, contradicted, these dialogue tags
are good because they’re short and almost invisible. They let the reader focus on the dialogue
itself. However, you don’t want to use
them with every line of dialogue, or you’ll sound repetitive and choppy.
An action tag
does not contain a synonym for said.
Instead, it’s simply an action the character performs before, during, or
while speaking. Example: “Magda slammed
her fist on the table,” or “Simon carefully untangled the knotted rope.” These are great because they break up the
dialogue while giving either a better insight into the character or a better
image of the scene as a whole. When
using an action tag, you don’t have to put in the dialogue tag—and usually should’t—because the reader understands
that the person doing the action is the same person speaking.
Magda slammed her
fist on the table. “I’m not going to
ignore this any longer.”
“So, you think I’m
manipulating you.” Simon carefully
untangled the knotted rope.
In good writing, you use both dialogue and action tags. But in good writing, you also remember to
punctuate them correctly.
Rule #1: Use a comma with dialogue tags.
“I love you,” she whispered.
He said, “That’s unfortunate.”
Rule #2: Use a period with action tags.
“I love you.” She
twined her fingers through his.
He coughed. “That’s
unfortunate.”
Miscellaneous Rules:
When combining the
two types of tags, you’ll usually need the comma.
He rose to his feet and shouted, “Not guilty!”
“Order in the court,” the judge demanded, slamming down his
gavel.
If your dialogue ends
with a question mark or exclamation point, capitalize as if it were a comma.
“Do you love me?” she asked.
“Absolutely not!” he yelled.
Don’t be fooled by
words like smile.
Incorrect: He smiled,
“Welcome to your worst nightmare.”
Correct: He
smiled. “Welcome to your worst
nightmare.”
Be careful with "said" when it has its own direct object. That makes it its own sentence, and should be punctuated like an action tag.
Incorrect: "I'm tired," she said it with an apologetic smile.
Correct: "I'm tired." She said it with an apologetic smile.
OR: "I'm tired," she said with an apologetic smile.
Be careful with "said" when it has its own direct object. That makes it its own sentence, and should be punctuated like an action tag.
Incorrect: "I'm tired," she said it with an apologetic smile.
Correct: "I'm tired." She said it with an apologetic smile.
OR: "I'm tired," she said with an apologetic smile.
The Gray Area
There is room for debate here, on some verbs like laugh, sob, spit, etc., which involve
the mouth or throat, but aren’t really speaking words. For example, I think that you can sob out
words, so I can use “sob” as a dialogue tag or an action tag. I also think you can laugh and talk (rather unintelligibly)
at the same time, so I sometimes use laugh as a dialogue tag. When you’re really angry, I think you can
spit words. Others disagree. I believe, however, that if you make the
conscious decision on a gray-area verb, it’s a matter of style, not a mistake.
Examples:
“I killed him,” she sobbed. (Sounds good to me, as if she’s
crying and talking at the same time.)
“I killed him.” She sobbed.
(Sounds awkward to me, like she said it and only then started crying.)
“I killed him.” She sobbed into her bloody hands. (Sounds
good. If I want to use these gray verbs
as action tags, adding a little extra detail usually gets rid of the
choppiness.)
Punctuation is a guide for your readers. Make it work for you and for them.
For more, read Part 1: Commas Save Lives; the Vocative Comma.
Join me next month for more about the exciting world of
punctuation.Note that these examples and rules are for Standard American English (SAE). Punctuation in other regions may differ. If you have any examples of difference, we'd love to see them in the comments below. Thanks!
12 comments:
Melinda, nicely put. New authors usually have a problem with the dialogue and action tags. I've debated with myself over the 'questionable' or 'grey area' tags. In my writing journey I've been told you can't cry dialogue and so on,. But, I agree with you. You can sob and speak, you can "spit" out words while fuming, you can roll over in laughter and speak. As you mentioned, it may be unintelligibly, but it's still dialogue.
Thanks for a well-written article Melinda. I also agree that you can use some action tags with your dialogue. You can certainly laugh words like "What?
Thanks Melinda, these are potentially tricky areas, made even more complicated by having different rules in different parts of the world (like whether you place the comma before or after the quotation marks).
Magdalena, great point. These are Standard American English (SAE) conventions. I know that in British English, the period and comma sometimes go outside the quotation mark, if the punctuation isn't technically part of the quote. I think, however, that British fiction tends to punctuate character dialogue in much the same way as SAE. British English may use single quotes instead of double quotes, however, and may call them "inverted commas." I think there are also variances (both between and within American and British) about whether to capitalize the "he said" after an exclamation mark or question mark.
Does anyone out there have any insights on differences in English punctuation in different parts of the world?
Yeah, the gray area is tricky. So do you sometimes let your characters sob dialogue, or have you shied away from it so far?
So far I've avoided it, the chicken that I am. :)
This is a very helpful post for me, Melinda. I can be more precise now in punctuating correctly. Thank you!
Exactly. I'd take issue with this:
"He was wearing the biggest hat I've ever seen, pink and sparkly," she laughed.
Instead, I'd punctuate it traditionally:
"He was wearing the biggest hat I've ever seen, pink and sparkly." She laughed.
But I have no problem with this:
"What?" she laughed.
"Pink," she giggled.
Again, others will disagree.
Thanks for the advice Melinda. Very helpful.
Dear Melinda,
I enjoyed reading your post about dialogue tags and action tags. You explained it very nicely. Thank you.
Never Give Up
Joan
As a new author, I thank you for this information. My editor has suggested I add more dialogue, and sometimes it's tricky knowing how to punctuate it properly. This will help! :)
Glad you stopped by, Stepmom! The gift "Editing Books Like a Pro" has lots of dialogue tips. You can find it at the top right sidebar on this page! It will definitely be helpful.
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