Dialogue Tags: He Said, She Replied

 

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 Contributed by Karen Cioffi, Children's Writer

 

I'm rewriting a young adult book for a client. It's over 100,000 words.

With that many words, the author felt compelled to mix up the dialogue tags.

That, though, is never a good idea.

Some of the tags he used were spat, laughed, teased, smirked, joked, yawned, and sneered.

But my client isn't the only one who doesn't realize that there are specific words for dialogue tags. That might be because new authors aren't familiar with the tag's purpose.

So, what exactly is a dialogue tag and how should you use it?

According to The Write Practice, "they 'tag' the dialogue to a particular character. Also often referred to as an attribution, a dialogue tag is a small phrase either before, after, or in between the actual dialogue itself."
https://thewritepractice.com/dialogue-tags/

That puts it pretty simple.

Dialogue tags are phrases that identify who is speaking. They are a must for clarity and in order to keep the reader in the know and involved in the story.

A few examples:

"What was that?" asked John.

"I couldn't finish my homework," John said.

"If I go to the store," John said, "I'll pick up milk."

So, you can see that dialogue tags are straight forward. They allow the reader to know who's talking.

The basic tags are said, replied, asked, and answered. These tags kind of become invisible to the reader. The reader can acknowledge who is talking while not thinking twice about the tag.

But when the basics just aren't enough, you can also use whispered, shouted, mumbled. They should be used sparingly, though.

So, going back to dialogue tags that shouldn't be used, I did a search and was surprised at the results.

One site had a list of dialogue tags that included, emitted, bubbled, chuckled, grinned, sang, smiled, and rejoiced.

Another site had grieved, mewled, bawled, blubbered, fretted, agonized, comforted, admired, hissed, soothed, glowered, placated, assented, tittered, and sobbed, stating they could be used as dialogue tags.

This may be one of the reasons why some writers feel it's okay to use these words.

A good way to think about whether a word can be used as a tag is to think of the word and what it means.

You can't blubber dialogue.
You can't admire dialogue.
You can't comfort dialogue.
You can't sneer dialogue.
You can't tease dialogue.
You can't emit dialogue.
You can't spit dialogue. Although you may spit as you talk.

Dialogue tags and adverbs.

This is another common problem that can arise with dialogue and tags - the use of adverbs.

My client did a lot of this as well.

Using an adverb after a tag looks like this:

"Don't bother getting up," John said angrily.

"You're beautiful," John said admiringly.

"Get out of my chair," John said, disgruntled.

Instead of using adverbs, the sentence or paragraph should show how the character is feeling.

Ellen couldn't open her eyes. Crying all night left them swollen and achy. "How could this happen?"

Showing what's going on allows the reader to know how she's feeling. You wouldn't need to add "sadly" at the end of the tag.

Do you always have to use dialogue tags?

Another question that can come up about dialogue tags is whether they have to be used all the time.

The answer is no, as long as it's clear who's speaking.

John shook his head. "No way. I'm not going."

"You've got to," said Pete.

"No, I don't."

In this simple example, you can see that only one of the dialogues has a tag.

The first one notes who's talking by using: John shook his head.

The dialogue that comes after that is from John.

The third dialogue line is John responding to Pete. As there are only two characters in the scene, the reader will know John is speaking.

Writing dialogue is easy once you get the hang of it.

A good way to learn how to write dialogue with proper tags is to read a lot of traditionally published books. Pay attention to the dialogue.

It's not that I'm putting down self-published books, I've self-published two books. The problem is not all self-published books are done professionally.

Traditionally published books have professionals editing them; they have gatekeepers to ensure the story is quality. They know the ropes and it's important to learn from books that are done right.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

 

 

Karen Cioffi is an award-winning children’s author, working ghostwriter, rewriter, and coach. If you need help with your story, visit Writing for Children with Karen Cioffi.

Karen also offers authors:

HOW TO WRITE A CHILDREN'S FICTION BOOK
A DIY book to help you write your own children’s book.

FICTION WRITING FOR CHILDREN eCOURSE
4-Week / 8 Sections Guided Self-Study Mentoring Program

Tips on Naming Characters in Your Stories

My banner, which hangs on my sales
table at book sales. It needs to be
revised to include my two latest 
picture books written in Spanish!

 By Linda Wilson  @LinWilsonauthor

            A one-minute Google search titled "How to Name Characters in Fiction" will tell you everything you need/want to know about naming your characters. Thanks AI. Here are some tips to keep the names in your stories personal.

Story Magic: Make your Story Names Come from your Heart

            The names of characters in your stories are meant to reflect the world you've created.

            

Children: Pinpoint your story's time period. For ages 8-to-12, a search for children born in 2013 comes up with popular boys and girls' names. Once you decide on a name, consider making it unique. In my chapter book series, my character's name is Abi, derived from Abigal or Abby.

Adults:  After your Google search, parents and grandparents' names can be reassuring, like Mrs. Clark and Dee Rainey. Giving your colorful characters' names a twist is where the fun comes in. Such as a teacher named Mr. Wormwood in my current work in progress, and the name Thistletoe for my packrat character, that hints at a holiday story without using the term "Christmas," in order to include all who celebrate the holidays.

Pets:   Google popular pet names and make a list of pets you know. The name of the border collie in Secret in the Stars is, you guessed it, Star. In Secret in the Mist, coming soon, there are three horses. A horse named Tulips honors a horse I once knew; a horse in the 1800s is given the enduring name, Faith; and Rebel is a horse that lives up to his name.

Settings:   Much of the setting for the Abi Wunder series is fashioned after my home and neighborhood in Purcellville, Virginia, where I once lived. Not far from Washington, DC, at the time we lived there Purcellville was rural, though since then unfortunately the area has been taken over by development. But at the time, across the road from our house, we had a beautiful view of a grassy hill, which bordered on West Virigina. The small pond near our house, where tall cattails and swamp grass grew, and a lone bull frog lived, gives rise to the marsh in Secret in the Mist. The three stores in the tiny town of Round Hill just down the road from our house is the backdrop for the museum in that story. And Leesville is named after the town of Leesburg several miles away.

Back Matter:   Here is an opportunity to give some background about your stories and where the names you've chosen come from. Information about 4H and encouragement to join can be found in the back matter of Tall Boots, and the Spanish version, Botas Altas, sanctioned by 4H, which included the use of the 4H logo and an encouraging quote from the 4H Interum Department Head at the time the book was published. The back matter in Waddles the Duck encourages readers to feed ducks healthy food for water fowl, instead of bread.

        Whatever you decide to name your characters and settings, if you create names from research, your life, and your imagination, your stories will be meaningful not only for you, but for your readers, too.

Some of the most fun I have in
writing for children is meeting
people like this young man
who let me punch is big, fat
turkey belly during a holiday fair.
 

Linda Wilson is the author of the Abi Wunder Mystery series and

other books for children. Her two new releases are the Spanish versions of Tall Boots, Botas Altas (2024), translated by Graciela Moreno and Adriana Botero, and of Cradle in the Wild, Cuna en la Naturaleza (2025), translated by Adriana Botero. You'll find Linda on her Amazon author page, on her website at LindaWilsonAuthor.com, and on Facebook.

  

All About "Action Beats" in Fiction

 by Suzanne Lieurance

 

So, what are action beats, you might ask?

 

Well, action beats are small bits of physical action or description inserted into dialogue to show what your characters are doing while they talk. 

 

They’re not full-on action scenes, but little moments that add flavor, break up conversation, and reveal personality. 

 

Think of action beats as the details that make dialogue feel natural and alive.

 

Instead of having your characters just talk back and forth, you sprinkle in actions like “she shrugged,” “he frowned,” or “they shifted uneasily.” 

 

These small details do more than just fill space; they let your readers see your characters in motion, giving clues about their emotions and thoughts without a full description of every feeling.

 

Some Reasons to Use Action Beats:

 

For Pacing and Flow.

 

Action beats break up long blocks of dialogue. 

 

They create a rhythm that keeps your writing from feeling like a transcript. 

 

When you insert a quick action, it gives the reader a moment to breathe and visualizes the scene.

 

For Character Insight.

 

A simple gesture can speak volumes. 

 

A nervous tap of a finger or a confident lean can tell your readers about a character’s state of mind without explicitly stating it. 

 

This “show, don’t tell” approach adds depth to your characters.

 

For Visual Engagement.

 

Readers aren’t just listening to words; they’re imagining a scene. 

 

By including physical actions, you help them see the environment and understand the subtext behind the dialogue.

 

Here is How to Best Use Action Beats:

 

#1. Keep Them Simple. 

 

Use short, clear descriptions. 

 

The beat should complement the dialogue, not overwhelm it. 

 

A quick action like “he ran a hand through his hair” is enough to convey a moment of frustration or thought.

 

#2. Make Them Relevant.

 

Every action beat should have a purpose. 

 

Ask yourself if the gesture reveals something about the character or the situation. 

 

If it doesn’t add value, it might be better left out.

 

#3. Vary Your Beats.

 

Not every beat has to be emotional or dramatic. 

 

Sometimes a simple physical gesture—like shifting weight or glancing away—can be just as powerful as a more detailed description. 

 

Use a mix to keep the scene realistic.

 

#4. Show Character, Don’t Tell.

 

Use beats to reveal subtle character traits. 

 

A character who nervously fidgets or someone who stands confidently will come off much more vividly to the reader than if you just described their feelings.

 

Some Common Pitfalls to Avoid with Beats

 

#1. Overusing Beats.

 

Too many action beats can clutter your narrative. 

 

Each beat should serve a clear purpose.

 

If you’re describing every little movement, you risk slowing down the pace and distracting from the dialogue itself.

  

#2. Underusing Beats.

 

On the flip side, using too few beats can make dialogue feel static. 

 

Without visual cues or movement, your characters might seem flat or their conversations robotic.

 

#3. Irrelevant Actions.

 

Make sure every beat ties back to the scene or character development. 

 

Random actions can confuse readers and take them out of the story.

In Summary

 

An action beat is a powerful tool in fiction writing. 

 

It adds realism to dialogue, pace to your narrative, and depth to your characters. 

 

By keeping your beats simple, relevant, and integrated with the dialogue, you can make your scenes more engaging and dynamic. 

 

Use action beats thoughtfully to transform plain conversation into vivid, living moments on the page.

And, for more writing tips, be sure to visit writebythesea.com and get your free subscription to The Morning Nudge. 

Once you're a subscriber, you'll also have access to a Private Resource Library for Writers.

Suzanne Lieurance is the author of over 40 published books, a freelance writer, and a Law of Attraction coach for writers.

 

 

How to Repurpose Your Radio Interviews

By Terry Whalin (@terrywhalin)

As an author, you want to hire a publicist who has connections to radio and podcast hosts and can book you on those programs.  As an editor, I’ve encouraged some of my authors to book radio interviews. After the interviews, one author told me he didn’t believe they helped sell books. Then I asked some follow-up questions. Did you get the recording from the interview? Are you storing that interview on your website, so it does not disappear? This author was not taking any of those important follow-up actions. In this article, I want to help you increase the effectiveness and longevity of your interviews.

As an author, your publicist will schedule you on various radio programs. These radio programs are wonderful opportunities to talk about your book. The talk show host normally receives a series of interview questions ahead of time. These radio hosts interview different authors day after day on their program. You can’t assume the host has read your book—and you are better off assuming they have not read your book. Instead, they will use the interview questions to speak with you about your book. 

For example, I’ve done more than 50 radio interviews about Billy Graham and my biography. I’m asked the same questions over and over. Yet each time, I answer them with enthusiasm as though I’m hearing the question for the first time. Depending on the radio program, often these shows only cover a certain area of the United States. How do you get more mileage from these interviews?

First, ask for a recording of the interview. Sometimes the radio station will put it on their site after the interview. Other times if you ask, they will email the audio file to you. You have to ask for it or search for it and preserve this audio file.

With this audio file in your possession, the next step is to listen to it. Is it a solid recording? Do you need to cut out local commercials or anything to make it universal and just your interview? I use an audio program called SoundForge for this editing process. Just like Microsoft Word edits words, you can use SoundForge to edit audio files.

I create or check to make sure I have a solid recording of my interview. Next I upload the audio file to my own hosting site. If I just link to the interview from someone else’s site, they are in control and I’ve had these links disappear. When I put it on my own site, I know the interview is always going to be available online and never disappear. You have to make sure you preserve the interview on a site that you control.

The final step is to incorporate this interview into your on-going social media efforts (X/Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn). Here’s an example from one of my radio interviews about my Billy Graham book: http://terrylinks.com/KPOFGrahamInt The interview was recorded months ago, yet because it was a morning radio show, it sounds like it happened yesterday. The listener doesn’t need to know the real date.

Because I reuse these interviews, people will regularly email me saying they heard my interview and compliment me. I respond with gratitude and never say when it actually happened (not relevant information for that listener). These recordings continue to promote and drive book sales and exposure for my book—long after the interview. Like many of these actions in the marketing area, they do not happen unless the author takes control of the interview (storing it on your website) then continues to promote it.

Promoting your book on the radio or a podcast is important and something every author should actively pursue and continue. In my view, it is equally important what you do with these recordings after the interview. Use these live events for on-going and continued promotion of your book and work. These interviews are essentially timeless and can be used repeatedly if you take action. 

Tweetable:

When you record a radio interview, how do you use it for on-going promotion? Get specific action steps from this prolific author and editor in this article.  (ClickToTweet)

W. Terry Whalin, a writer and acquisitions editor lives in California. A former magazine editor and former literary agent, Terry is an acquisitions editor at Morgan James Publishing. He has written more than 60 nonfiction books including Jumpstart Your Publishing Dreams and Billy Graham. Get Terry’s recent book, 10 Publishing Myths for only $10, free shipping and bonuses worth over $200. To help writers catch the attention of editors and agents, Terry wrote his bestselling Book Proposals That $ell, 21 Secrets To Speed Your Success. Check out his free Ebook, Platform Building Ideas for Every Author. His website is located at: www.terrywhalin.com. Connect with Terry on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.

How to Make Writing Come Alive for Readers and Writers Alike

Carolyn doing what she preaches, spreading the word, having the fun!

Connecting to Authors Counts

 

Carolyn Rants About How to Make Reading
 Feel Like the Real Thing

 

By Carolyn Howard-Johnson, novelist, poet and multi award-winning author 
of the #HowToDoItFrugallySeries of Books for Writers

 

Many years ago when I was beginning to dedicate myself to writing—meaning writing real books and not having other work to attend to, the LA Times reported that Harper Collins had hatched a program to “draw authors and readers together.”

What a wonderful concept! It seems new at the time, a possibility that could be nurtured with the coming of the Internet. And, yes, I’m being facetious. 

 The giant publisher offered up their big-name authors for an “Invite the Author” program. Authors like Ann Patchett (author of Bel Canto) and Wally Lamb (author of This Much I Know is True) would speak by phone to the members of a very few book clubs—chosen by lottery, no less! It seemed like a great idea to me. I was working on my the first book soon to become part of a series for writers (The Frugal Book Promoter, now in its third edition).

Of course this was a new idea of inspired by the best of marketing’s intentions—to make PR more about serving the public than mere “selling” which was okay by me especially since they publish lots of excellent titles that can be classified as literary, a genre I saw as losing ground since my days as an English major. What T’d me off is that these ladies from one of the chosen clubs, the Digressing Divas Book Club in Michigan, were so excited because they “had never met an author or talked to one before.” Can you imagine? Weren’t bookstores doing that? Libraries? But it me realize there must be avid readers who think that authors are a bit untouchable. It convinced me of what I had started to observe on my own. We all could do more but the newly minted POD authors otherwise known as the self-published had been eschewing marketing of all kinds because from what they observed it was a job for publishers and beneath the talents of creatives—that is, authors! 

Today, things have changed. I was a slog to get us to realize that not matter how we publish we are at least in part responsible for our own book’s success, our own relationships with our readers. Many authors of literary works (and other genres, too) had been keeping themselves cloistered but not all. Today even the most literary, most hightly paid ones have websites—even participate on the content we find there.  They have easily accessed e-mail addresses. They have blogs and newsletters! They have bared their very souls to their readers in their writing, for heaven’s sakes!

Today it’s easy to find authors. Look up their names on Google. Once found, visit their site and sign their guest books. Most (at least the smart ones) would be pleased to send you a signed bookplate if you ask. Most will answer your note.

Lacking an e-mail address or an interactive feature on their website, authors can be reached by writing to their publisher who passes these letters on to the author. This is not a new process. It has been going on for decades. What a concept! A personal letter with the distinct possibility that a reader will get a personal note back complete with a valued signature! 

Oh, and book signings. Well, granted some big chains got awfully uppity about who they allowed to appear on their premises, but most towns, large and small have realized the potential for an author to visit and chat with book lovers. So, if “Digressing Divas” everywhere are all that excited about chatting with authors, maybe they should be telling their bookstore proprietors about their needs. In fact there are lots of ways they can keep that author-reader relationship ball rolling:

~What would happen if B&N invited an author from a small press so their customers could get copy of an autographed first novel, maybe even a honest-to-goodness first edition? 

~And what if they actually promoted this new author? 

~And what if the people who came actually found a new voice, a new author to adore?

~“Digressing Divas” could also hound their libraries a bit. A former Nobel prize nominee, Dr. Alicia Ghiragossian, Stephen Veres, author of A Light in the Distance, and I spoke on “The Three Faces of Tolerance” at our local library. Other authors like Pat Morrison, Vincent Bugliosi and poet Bart Edelman have spoken to those in our not-so-large community as part of this same series. None of us said “No.” Some of these authors may someday be the Oateses or Faulkners or Roths of the literary world with—or without the help of a publisher.

Here’s more proof: We now have a Literacy Day. This year it’s on Mon, Sep 8, 2025.  We might still not have an opportunity to find the world’s most famous authors at every bookstore or featured on every segment of Ali Velshi’s book club (MSNBC), but it’s an opportunity to meet people who write, people with opinions and people with talent.

Our “Diva” book-clubbers could invite authors to come talk to their clubs, these days, especially if one live in their town or even region. I know several authors who have spoken to as few as twelve avid readers cozied around the fireplace at a club member’s home. One of those is Leora G. Krygier, author of First the Raven.

Some authors even teach at colleges in your area. Author Beverly J. Scott even took a road tour in one of her collectible Edsels so she could meet people in small towns!

 

Real Ideas for Making Readers and Authors Who Read
 Feel More Connected 

 

• Write to authors when you’ve read their books.
• Look up an author on Amazon.com. She may even have a link to a special biography page and/or an e-mail address.
• Check out AuthorsDen.com. Wow! What an array of writers!
• Attend book signings. Occasionally attend even if you haven’t ever read a book by the starring author.
• Join groups that invite authors to speak. Even investment groups are known to do that. I know. I was among the 300 guests in the banquet hall!
• Attend your local library’s events.
• Let your bookstore know when you have read something you enjoy, especially if you had to go to Amazon.com to buy it. Ask them to invite that author to visit their store.
• Read your paper’s Book Review section (you’ll sometimes find them in sections labeled “Opinion” or “Voices” these days); use some of the website addresses you find there to contact publishers and authors.
• Most of all, just ask for your bookish little heart’s desire. You might get it. Cross-promotion among authors is known to be one of the best promotions of all.
• If you find an author who isn’t receptive, find yourself another.

 

 

MORE ABOUT THE “WRITERS ON THE MOVE” CONTRIBUTOR

 

Howard-Johnson is the recipient of the California Legislature’s Woman of the Year in Arts and Entertainment Award, and her community’s Character and Ethics award for her work promoting tolerance with her writing. She was also named to Pasadena Weekly’s list of “Fourteen San Gabriel Valley women who make life happen” and was given her community’s Diamond Award for Achievement in the Arts.  Carolyn writes nonfiction for writers, poetry, and fiction and has studied writing at Cambridge University in the United Kingdom; Herzen University in St. Petersburg, Russia; and Charles University, Prague. She is also celebrating more than a year of writing this column for Susan Violante’s First Chapter Plus and occasionally contributes to Reader Views’ blog as well. Please follow her author’s profile page on Amazon at https://bit.ly/CarolynsAmznProfile to receive notice of her new books right to your e-mail address. 

 

You've Got to Know What You're Doing When Writing for Children

 Contributed by Karen Cioffi, Children's Writer

 As with anything you attempt to do, it’s essential to know what you’re doing.

My father was a contractor—he built homes.

How structurally sound do you think those homes would have been if he didn’t know what he was doing or didn’t know how to read blueprints?

Or what about a musician who didn’t learn how to play an instrument. Or one who knew the basics but never practiced them. Would you attend a concert that musician was giving?

Well, the same thing applies to writing for children.

It’s true that a self-published author can publish a poorly written book; no one will stop him. But do you think that’s fair to the reader and those authors who produce quality books?

The answer is NO on both accounts.

A common problem I see with new children’s authors is that they’re not familiar with the different genres.

I’ll see 2,000-word picture book drafts or 9,000-word middle-grade drafts.

I’ll also see things like an intended middle-grade draft with inappropriate content for the age group.

This also applies to the words you use in your story. Everything must be age-appropriate when writing for children.

And there must be a main character (protagonist).

A story I recently reviewed had no main character. It didn’t have a story arc, either.

This is common for some new authors. They have a message they want to convey but don’t realize it needs to be within the boundaries of a good fiction story.

Another biggie I notice is middle-grade stories with multiple points of view (POV), even going so far as to change POVs within a chapter.

I realize that many people think writing for children is simple.

How hard can it be, right?

Well, it’s actually a tricky genre to write in.

When writing for children, you must adhere to the industry’s standard guidelines. In other words, you need to know what you’re doing … you need to play by the rules.

Some elements that pertain to playing by the rules are:
1.    Word count
2.    Sentence length
3.    Chapter length
4.    Story length
5.    Age-appropriate content
6.    Age-appropriate words
7.    Point of view
8.    Protagonist
9.    Character arc: The protagonist must overcome the problem and grow in some way as a result of the journey
  10. Story arc

While there are other factors involved, these are ten of the most important.

So, before you jump into a children’s story, read a lot of books in the genre you want to write. Be sure they’re well-written, though. A good way to do this is to read recently traditionally published books by top publishers, such as Simon & Schuster, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, and Chronicle Books.

There are good self-published books out there, but it’s sometimes a guessing game as to which are well-written and which are poorly written. You wouldn’t want to learn or model poorly written books.

Traditionally published books will be up to the current publishing guidelines and well-edited.

You should also take a few online children’s writing courses, read books on writing for children, and possibly get a children’s writing coach to help you overcome the hurdles of writing a publishable book.

This article was first published at:
Writing for Children – Know What You're Doing

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Karen Cioffi is an award-winning children’s author, working ghostwriter, rewriter, editor, and writing coach. If you need help with your story, visit Writing for Children with Karen Cioffi.
 

OTHER TOOLS FOR CHILDREN'S AUTHORS:

HOW TO WRITE A CHILDREN'S FICTION BOOK
A DIY book to help you write your own children’s book.

PICTURE BOOK, CHAPTER BOOK, MIDDLE GRADE COACHING
Four to twelve-week coaching programs.

FICTION WRITING FOR CHILDREN eCOURSE
4-Week / 8 Sections Guided Self-Study Mentoring Program 

All About Extended Metaphors

by Suzanne Lieurance

We all use simple metaphors in our writing. 

But not everyone uses extended metaphors or even understands them, so let’s look at the definition of an extended metaphor first. 

What is an Extended Metaphor?

An extended metaphor is a literary device that takes a single metaphor and expands it over several lines, sentences, or even an entire piece of writing.  

Unlike a simple metaphor, which might compare one thing to another in a single statement, an extended metaphor develops the comparison in greater detail, weaving it into the narrative or argument.  

Think of it as painting an intricate picture with words, layering meaning and imagery to deepen the reader's understanding and engagement.

Why Use Extended Metaphors?

Extended metaphors are powerful tools for writers because they: 

Create Depth: They allow you to explore an idea or emotion more thoroughly, adding layers of meaning to your writing. 

Engage Readers: A well-crafted extended metaphor can capture the reader's imagination and hold their attention. 

Unify Themes: By linking different parts of your work to a single metaphor, you create cohesion and resonance. 

Simplify Complex Ideas: They make abstract or complicated concepts easier to grasp by anchoring them in familiar imagery. 

Tips for Creating and Using Extended Metaphors 

#1. Start with a Strong Core Idea.  

Begin with a single, vivid metaphor that resonates with your theme.  

For example, if you’re writing about a creative journey, you might compare it to planting and tending a garden. 

#2. Develop the Metaphor Gradually.  

Once you have your core metaphor, expand it piece by piece.  

In the garden example, you could describe planting seeds (starting an idea), watering the plants (nurturing creativity), and dealing with weeds (overcoming obstacles). 

#3. Stay Consistent.  

Keep the metaphor’s imagery and logic consistent.  

Mixing unrelated elements—like suddenly shifting from a garden to a spaceship—can confuse readers and weaken your writing. 

 

#4. Use Sensory Details.  

Bring the metaphor to life with vivid descriptions.  

Engage the senses by describing sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures that align with your chosen image. 

#5. Connect to Emotion.  

Great extended metaphors evoke emotion.  

Don’t just describe the garden; make readers feel the joy of new blossoms or the frustration of unexpected storms. 

#6. Avoid Overdoing It.  

While extended metaphors can be powerful, they should never feel forced or overused.  

Know when to step back and let the narrative speak for itself. 

#7. Tailor the Metaphor to Your Audience.  

Choose imagery that resonates with your readers.  

For example, a metaphor about cooking might connect with food lovers, while a sports metaphor might resonate with athletes. 

#8. Tie It Back to Your Message.  

Ensure your extended metaphor reinforces the central theme or argument of your piece.  

Every element should serve the larger purpose of your writing. 

Examples of Extended Metaphors 

The Writing Process as Sailing a Ship: Writing is like navigating a ship through uncharted waters. The blank page is the open sea, full of potential and uncertainty. Your ideas are the wind filling the sails, and your revisions are the course corrections that keep you on track. Storms (self-doubt) and calm waters (writer’s block) test your perseverance, but with determination, you eventually reach the shore of a finished draft. 

Life as a Puzzle: Life is a giant jigsaw puzzle. Each moment is a piece, and some fit together easily while others take time to place. Sometimes, you feel like you’re missing pieces, but with patience and perspective, the full picture begins to emerge. 

Practice Makes Perfect 

If you want to get better at creating extended metaphors, try this simple exercise: 

#1. Pick a common concept or emotion (e.g., love, success, failure). 

#2. Choose a concrete image or idea to compare it to (e.g., a mountain, a river, a marathon). 

#3. Write a paragraph or two exploring the metaphor, expanding on how the two ideas connect. 

Using extended metaphors is a powerful way to elevate your writing.  

It can help you captivate your readers, communicate complex ideas with clarity, and leave a lasting impression.  

So, the next time you sit down to write, don’t just tell your story—paint it with an extended metaphor and watch your words come alive.  

And, for more writing tips, be sure to visit writebythesea.com and get your free subscription to The Morning Nudge. 

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Suzanne Lieurance is the author of over 35 published books, a freelance writer, and a law of attraction coach for writers.